


Devil Inside Me - What if... (Starker AU)

by Nelalila



Series: Devil Inside Me [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bottom Peter Parker, Coming Out, Depression, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Violence, Heavy Angst, Heavy Drinking, Homophobia, Hurt Peter Parker, Insecure Tony, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Tony Stark, Jealousy, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, Rough Sex, Self-Doubt, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Top Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22119184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelalila/pseuds/Nelalila
Summary: Tony struggles with his new ‘life’ after coming out to his friends. Just when he's finally come to terms with his sexuality and relationship, journalists start digging around, sending him into a downward spiral of shame and paranoia. Peter tries his best to help him, but one day it all comes crashing down on them, gravely endangering their long-yearned-for shared future.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Series: Devil Inside Me [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585903
Comments: 207
Kudos: 217





	1. [01]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an Alternative Storyline/Ending to [Devil Inside Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20701250), starting from the middle of chapter 13. If you stumbled across this fic and want to read it without going through ~ 35,000 words first: Tony and Peter had been in a secret, somewhat abusive relationship for almost two years. Tony never wanted to come out because of childhood trauma and internalized homophobia, so he always manipulated Peter into not saying anything even after he had turned legal, while at the same time cheating on him with Pepper. After Peter had threatened to leave him, Tony promised he’d come out on his eighteenth birthday, and this is where the story starts. 
> 
> **Warnings:** Don’t forget, Tony has still been manipulative, possessive, somewhat abusive and a lying cheater in the chapters leading up to this, so he won’t be a 100 % good guy all of a sudden just because they are staying together. However, they will only have a real chance for a happy end if Tony changes, but if he really can, we will see.

In the course of the days after promising Peter to finally come out, Tony snapped at almost everyone daring to speak to him. He was scared shitless about everything, yet he felt like he didn’t have any other choice…He didn’t want to lose his angel, he _couldn’t._

On the day of Peter’s birthday party, the man was a mess, unable to take even a small bite of dry toast without feeling as if he’d had to throw it up again.

“Are you sure you’re not sick?” Pepper asked for the hundredth time. Tony was tempted to smack her hand away when she placed it on his forehead.

“I’m fine,” he growled, hiding his face in his hands. Seven more hours until the party started. Maybe he should get it over with already. He had to tell her first, he owed her that and if he didn’t want her to say anything fatal during the party, he had to do it now.

“Pepper, I…there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Me too.”

Tony looked up, utterly confused. “Oh yeah? Uhm… is it okay if I go first? I really need to get his off my chest.”

“Uhm, sure, what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

The man flinched when he heard the nickname. Should he…? No, he couldn’t turn back now, Peter would never forgive him if he did. His decision was irretrievable.

“I…I need you to know, that I… I’ve always loved you and I will always love you, Pep, but-“

“W-W-Wait, are you breaking up with me?” Pepper’s face was distorted in fear and shock, her hand clutching her belly as if she suddenly felt sick too.

Tony sighed deeply, not daring to look her in the eyes anymore. “I’m sorry. I wished I didn’t have to do this, but I can’t continue living a lie.”

“W-what l-lie? W-what did I-did I d-do wrong?”

“Nothing. You’ve been amazing and as I said, I will always love you, but-“

“W-why are you d-doing this then? Now that I…I-I mean… why, Tony?”

Now that she _what?_ He was tempted to ask, but did I really matter? He’d already taken the first few steps, he can’t chicken out now. “I…” Tony took a deep breath. Fuck it. “I’m having feelings for a man.”

A few seconds went by without anyone saying a word. The sobbing woman was staring at him with wide eyes, too perplexed to react immediately. “W-What?”

“I guess I’ve been bisexual for all my life, but lately, it’s turned more towards g-gay. I’ve tried keeping it a secret, but it is eating me up inside and… I have had these feelings and… Pepper, I swear, I tried to ignore them with all my heart, but it’s not possible anymore. Y-You don’t deserve this.”

Tony’s voice broke slightly, and he desperately tried to withhold tears. This was harder than he thought.

“Is it B-Bucky? Have you c-cheated on me with him?”

“No, nonononono, it’s NOT Bucky and I… No, I haven’t cheated on you with anyone, I haven’t even kissed t-that guy yet, it’s just… Even if me and him didn’t work out, it still wouldn’t be fair to you to pretend any longer.”

Tony then told her about his lifelong struggle and why he had always been so afraid of coming out. He made sure not to mention Peter or his anonymous visits to clubs and brothels with any word, but apart from that, he answered every question Pepper had as truthfully as possible. After almost three hours of talking, Pepper was still devastated and furious about the whole situation, but eventually accepted that she couldn’t change anything about it.

“I need some time to get over this, Tony. I hope it’s okay if I don’t attend Peter’s party today. Give him a hug from me, please.”

“I will. Thank you for being so… understanding. I never meant to hurt you.”

The woman’s face was blank. “Will you tell the others?”

“I will. T-Today.”

“And… the public?”

“N-not right now.”

Pepper hummed a sad ‘Mhm’ and got up, intending to leave the room. It was only then that Tony remembered something. “What, uhm… what did you want to talk about before all this?”

The woman froze and for a few seconds, she kept standing with her back towards Tony before eventually turning around, shaking, new tears streaming down her cheeks. “T-There’s no need f-for it a-anymore. E-E-Excuse me.” With loud, broken sobs, Pepper turned around again and hurried out of the room as fast as she could, leaving behind a confused, extremely guilty man.

* * *

Peter was horribly jittery and anxious when he stepped out of the elevator. All day, no, all week, he hadn’t been able to think about anything else except what they would tell everyone today, hoping with all his heart that they would understand and be accepting of both Tony and of their relationship as well. Speaking of… his boyfriend was standing alone in the kitchen, his face oddly crestfallen and serious. Was he feeling that bad about-

Peter’s heart and stomach clenched when the man stepped forward. “Can we talk in private?” he whispered in his ear and pulled him aside without even waiting for an answer. Peter’s legs threatened to buckle and he almost tripped when Tony led him away from Happy. “N-No, I-I d-don’t want to hear it.”

“Hear what?” Tony asked and turned him around the corner.

“Y-You’ve c-changed your m-mind, haven’t you?”

“No, I haven’t,” Tony said, causing Peter to feel so thoroughly relieved he broke into tears. “Y-You haven’t? Then why-“

“I just want to make sure you don’t expect me to tell everyone about _us_ today too.”

With the blink of an eye, Peter felt panic overcoming him from head to toe once more. Was this another one of Tony’s tricks? “W-Why not?”

“Because it would be extremely weird. Yes, I know that the age of consent here is seventeen, but not everyone is from New York and I don’t want them to think that we’ve been keeping this from them for a while. If…If you don’t trust me, you can make a recording of me promising that I will tell them in a month, all right? If I don’t, you can use the video to bust me.”

Although Peter smelled trouble, he told Tony he trusted him, but in reality, he felt like he didn’t have any other choice. If he didn’t trust him anymore and recorded that video, their relationship would be doomed, wouldn’t it?

“Thank you, baby. I think, uhm… we should maybe head back now? Oh, one more thing, though… Pepper won’t be here. I, uhm, I already told her earlier. About me.”

Peter felt his spidey sense sending a shiver running down his spine. “W-Why?”

“Well, we’ve dated for a while and I always cared a lot about her. I owed telling her before everyone else finds out. I don’t want her to think that it’s her fault.”

“Her _fault?”_ It broke Peters heart when he remembered that Tony’s mother had used almost the exact same words when she found out about her son kissing another guy. “It’s nobody’s _fault_ , Tony. You are the way you are, you have no influence over it and-“

“Well, you know what I mean, we don’t have time for this now.”

“How did Pepper react?”

Tony sighed, looking slightly crestfallen. “She was quite understanding about it, I guess. Confused and a little…angry, maybe, because I didn’t tell her earlier so we could have ‘officially’ broken up before all this but…I mean, it was also her desire to wait, so I don’t feel too guilty about it.”

Something seemed off, spidey sense or not, but Peter didn’t want to question it. He just wanted Tony to get it over with, so he took his hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’m sure it will be fine. They won’t treat you any different, trust me.”

Three minutes later, they were back in the living room, seated around the dining table, clinking glasses and eating cake. Peter had sat down next to Tony, therefore he could almost feel the fear radiating from him. After a while, he wasn’t the only one anymore who noticed something was up.

“Aren’t you feeling good?” Steve, seated opposite of them, seemed concerned. “You’ve barely touched your cake.”

“I…actually, t-there’s something I need to tell you. _A-All_ of you!” Tony had raised his voice slightly and suddenly stood up from the table, clearing his throat noticeably. “I uhm…I know it’s Peter’s birthday today, but since you’re all here, I want to take the opportunity and uhm… tell you that-… H-He already knows because I just, uhm, told him and… Pepper knows too. That’s why she’s not here right now, actually. Uhm…”

Peter felt tears welling up in his eyes when Tony dabbed his forehead with the napkin, drying it from sweat. Promptly, the boy felt horribly guilty. Although he was convinced that it would be better for their relationship as well as Tony himself if he came out, he somewhat coerced him into doing this, didn’t he?

“Hey, relax, whatever it is, you can tell us. We won’t judge you.”

Did Steve know? His poker face was unreadable, but the way Bucky suddenly glanced over at him did raise some questions. Fortunately, Tony didn’t seem to have noticed anything, though; he was staring blankly at the table.

“O-Okay, I…I’mbisexualandhavefeelingsforaman.”

Although Tony had spoken, no, mumbled way too fast, his friends seemed to have understood at least part of it. Both Natasha and Clint reacted at the same time. “You’re bisexual?” - “You’re _gay_?”

Tony sat down, looking like he’d throw up any second. The arm pits underneath his shirt were _drenched_ in sweat. He tried to speak, but the only sound coming out of his mouth was a weak wheeze.

“You do know that what we’ve told Peter _and_ Wanda _and_ Bucky goes for you as well, right?” Steve eventually said with a kind smile, “You don’t have to be ashamed of your sexuality. I always had a feeling that you-“

“-were _hiding something_ ,” Peter finished hastily, not missing the dangerous twitch in Tony’s muscles, “but it doesn’t change who you are. Not even in the slightest.”

“It does, actually,” Bucky said to everyone’s surprise, only to grin brightly a few seconds later, “It makes you free. More powerful… More confident. It’s never too late to finally enjoy life to the fullest. I’m proud of you, man. I really mean it.”

“To enjoying life,” Nat quickly smiled, apparently smelling danger as well, and held up her glass of champagne once more. “And to new beginnings.” She winked at Tony, who forced his lips into a fake looking, tense smile when holding up his own glass. “Yeah. Uhm, thank you, everyone. For-For saying that.”

Peter didn’t miss how badly his boyfriend’s hand was still shaking when he put the glass to his lips and drank.

After everyone had overwhelmed Peter with even more presents than last year, Tony quietly exited the room, leaving the others alone. Immediately, they started talking about the reveal, causing Peter to shift from foot to foot uncomfortably.

“I always thought he wasn’t completely heterosexual,” Steve said, confirming the boy’s worries. Thank god he had interrupted him earlier… Tony would have strangled him.

“Really? I never expected him having the hots for dudes as well,” Clint exclaimed. “Just think about all the women he had…”

“Ever heard of overcompensating?” Natasha snorted. “I’m happy he told us, it’s obvious how afraid he had been, but… I just feel really bad for Pepper right now. I’m sure she had no idea and is heartbroken. I actually thought they’d announce their engagement or anything soon.”

Peter’s stomach twisted painfully. He had no intention of hearing anything about Nat’s reasoning for this statement, so he excused himself instead and went looking for his boyfriend. He found him in the bathroom, splashing water on his face. “There you are… why did you leave?”

“Because I couldn’t stand it anymore. The way they were looking at me…”

“Uhm, _what way?_ They are completely fine with it, trust me, Tony. You heard what Steve and Bucky-“

The man snorted so loudly it shut Peter up. “ _Bucky_ … what gave him the idea that I was interested in hearing his opinion?”

“He was just trying to be nice. If anyone knows how you feel, it’s him because he’s technically even been older than you when he came out. And he had had girlfriends before that too, if I remember correctly.”

“Oh, yeah? How would you know?” The man’s eyes were gleaming dangerously.

“Because I read, Tony. And I heard him speaking to Steve about it once. Can you please not be so upset about all this? Nobody has any negative feeling towards your coming-out, and we-we can finally focus on being _us_ and figuring out how we’re telling them. I know you did this for me and… it makes me so happy I can’t even put it in words. You couldn’t have given me a better birthday present.” Peter moved closer, nuzzling his face against the crook between the taller one’s head and his shoulder blade. “I love you.”

With a sigh, Tony put his arms around the boy’s slender body, pulling him even closer before placing a tender kiss on his forehead. “I love you too, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to include the Avengers overall reaction as well, but I’m trying to make the next chapter more exciting. Did you notice the actual decision that changed everything for the overall story? :)


	2. [02]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony feels paranoid and depressed, so he makes Peter an offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The difference to the original storyline really was Tony deciding to go "first" when talking to Pepper, so he didn't find out she was pregnant (yet...👀)

The days following Tony’s coming-out went by in a blur. Pepper had moved downstairs, which didn’t bother him all that much. He even offered to help her look for a new apartment and told her she could use his money to pay for it, but she refused.

Tony himself mostly stayed inside his apartment, not wanting to see or talk to anyone apart from Peter. They texted or spoke over the phone a few minutes every day, and Tony could feel that the boy was a little frustrated by his lack of excitement and relief of having come out, even implying that the man regretted it. Although Tony denied it, of course, the truth was, that he wasn’t sure.

When he eventually had to accept the fact that he couldn’t avoid the others forever, a week had passed. Peter had initially promised to come over and attend his first official Avenger dinner ever, but he had cancelled an hour ago, saying Ned had invited him for one of their last Mario Kart gaming session before he would move to Massachusetts. Tony had felt a jolt of anger running through him when he had read his text, but decided not to be a dick about it for once.

Therefore, he found himself stepping out of the elevator alone, each step forward taking a lot of effort. It was Sam he stumbled upon first. “Hey, Tony, how are you doing?”

“Fine.”

He shuffled forward, eyeing Sam like a hawk. Did he just flinch when their arms had brushed against each other for a second? Did he think Tony was gross, now that he-

“Hi there,” Bruce and Natasha said from the kitchen, giggling. Was Tony paranoid for wondering if they had been talking or laughing about him? “Hope you’re up for some throat burning. Bruce accidentally put about thrice as much pepper in it than he was supposed to.”

“Are we having Boeuf Stroganoff again?” Bucky didn’t seem all too excited about it when he came from the corridor, flashing Tony a brief, probably fake smile. “I thought we already had that two weeks ago.”

“Well, you’re welcome to cook next time if you don’t like my cooking.” Natasha looked at him challengingly, but frowned when Bucky laughed. “It’s not your cooking, Nat, it’s the meal. I just… don’t like Russian meals all that much. However, I’d be honored to cook next time. I can make a delicious Chili Con Carne.”

Tony let them be and walked into the living-dining area. Wanda was talking intently on the phone with someone while Vision and Steve were playing cards. “Hey Tones, everything all right?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” Tony snapped before thinking, feeling slightly embarrassed when Steve shot him a puzzled look. “Uhm, I don’t know, it’s just me trying to say hello?”

Fortunately, Tony was spared a reply when Wanda hung up. “Clint can’t make it. Laura has a fever, so he’s watching the kids. Oh, hey, Tony.”

“Hi.” In contrary to Thor, Clint _always_ came to their Avenger dinners, he hadn’t missed one since they’d started their tradition. _Was he making excuses because he couldn’t stand being in the same room with Tony anymore?_

“Where’s Pete?” Steve eventually asked.

“He, uhm, can’t make it either. He’s with a friend…” _Oh god, now they’re probably thinking that Peter didn’t want to be around him anymore either.._. “Ned. He will move to Massachusetts in two or three weeks, so they want to spend as much time as possible.”

“Understandable,” Steve said with a sigh, “I hope it won’t bring Peter down too much since he doesn’t really have a lot of friends. Maybe we should invite him more often. After all, now that he has the car, Happy doesn’t have to pick him up anymore.”

Tony only “mhm”d to it, and ten minutes later, Bruce called them for dinner. Every time someone addressed him, Tony was convinced that they only did it so he wouldn’t feel left out, and whenever someone didn’t speak to him for about five minutes, he thought they avoided him. At the time they had dessert, the man was a fucking mess, not knowing what to believe or what to think anymore.

“E-Excuse me,” he muttered as soon as he had eaten the last spoon of the chocolate mousse, “I-I just remembered I wanted to do some more lab work, so, uhm, thanks for the meal.”

Nat frowned. “It’s kind of late for lab work, don’t you think? Why don’t you just stay here and watch Independence Day with us?“ _Oh fuck yeah, aliens invading the planet, causing multiple deaths._ They all knew about his PTSD and probably chose that film on purpose to make sure he wouldn’t watch with them.

“Thanks, but, no. Good night, everyone.”

Tony didn’t take the elevator down to the lab, though.

* * *

“Oh, come on, that wasn’t fair,” Peter complained over Ned’s laughter, “without that stupid banana peel I would have won.”

“Awww, didn’t your Peter tingle warn you fast enough?”

“The Pe-…I-I mean, my _spidey sense_ doesn’t work that way, Ned. Anyone would have-“

A knock on the door cut Peter off. It was Mrs. Leeds, looking thoroughly excited. “Peter, M-Mr. Stark is here for you.”

“What? What is he doing here?”

“He, uhm, didn’t say. Should I go back and ask him?” The woman didn’t seem like she would mind running back and forth between them at all, causing Ned to groan and Peter to chuckle. “It was a rhetorical question, Mrs. Leeds, but thank you. I’ll come with you.”

Twenty seconds later, Peter was at the entrance door. He immediately noticed that Tony wasn’t in the best of moods. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Where’s your phone?”

“Uhm… I left it upstairs, what-“

“I called you twenty times in the past hour.”

“Shoot, I’m sorry, we were playing and I didn’t hear it. Did something happen?”

“Can you come with me? Please?” The sudden emptiness in Tony’s eyes was worse than the anger he’d shown just seconds earlier.

“Uhm…I-I guess… where to?”

“Just…somewhere more private.” At first, Peter thought that Tony actually came all the way down here just because he wanted to _fuck_ , but then he noticed him glancing over the boy’s shoulder to where Mrs. Leeds was probably still lurking in the shadows. Oh. Right. “Okay, let me say goodbye to Ned and then we can go.”

Five minutes later, Peter got into Tony’s car, not missing the stench of alcohol filling the narrow space. “Have you been drinking?”

“Just a little.”

“Maybe it’s better if you let me drive, you shouldn’t-“

The boy was cut off by Tony starting the engine. “I’m not _drunk_ , I can still drive.”

Peter didn’t dare push the topic any further, so he stayed silent, praying that his boyfriend wouldn’t get them into an accident. When it was obvious that Tony was intending to drive into Manhattan, he asked where they were going. “I told May I’d be back at about 11 pm.”

“Text her and tell her you’re staying with Ned for the night.”

Peter knew Tony wouldn’t accept an argument about it, so he sighed and did what Tony wanted. It’s not that May wouldn’t allow him to sleep somewhere else, he was eighteen years old, after all, but he didn’t want her to be worried. After a thirty-minute drive, Tony steered the car into an underground parking garage of an apartment building Peter had never been to before. “Where are we?”

“Greenwich.”

Then, it dawned on the teen. “Is this-“

“Yes.” Ever since Tony and Peter had stopped fighting, he had been wondering if the man still had the apartment he had mentioned during the graduation ceremony. “I thought we could crash here for the night.”

After parking the car, the two got into the elevator, going straight up to the penthouse. For a while, Peter stood inside the living-room frozen, mouth agape, eyeing the expensive-looking furniture in awe.

“I was wondering if you’ve given it another thought.” Tony wrapped an arm around him from behind, kissing his temple, his cheek, and then his neck.

“W-What do you mean?”

“Moving in here.”

“I-I don’t- … T-This is too expensive Tony, I-I can’t-“

“Can you please, for once, stop being so humble and modest? If I can’t even use my money to buy you something nice, what do I have it for anyway?”

“B-But-“

Tony turned Peter around, looking dangerously irritated. “No. I don’t want to hear another word about money. Do you _like_ it? If yes, do you want to _move in_?”

Peter bit his lip, shuffling from one foot to the other uneasily. He did like it but it would make him feel bad, leaving May in that shitty apartment while living a wanna-be-rich-kids-life in this multi-million-dollar penthouse. Tony wasn’t his sugar daddy, he was his boyfriend, and Peter didn’t want to take advantage of him more than he already had considering all the suits and the car. But he couldn’t _say_ any of that. “I do like it, but I need to think about it some more, i-if that’s okay? You kind of overwhelmed me with-“

“What if I moved in with you? And if it technically stayed my apartment?”

“Wait, w-what?” Peter wasn’t sure he’d heard right. It would be a dream coming true. “Are you serious?”

Tony sighed and walked over to the floor-length windows. “I don’t want to live at the compound anymore.”

“W-What? Why not? You always said that-”

Quickly, the man turned around, glaring at Peter. “I just can’t take it… their looks, their… Clint already skipped dinner today, for the first time _ever._ They hardly spoke to me during the dinner, or at least, not as much as they used to, and when they did, they only did it so I wouldn’t feel left out. They despise me, I can _feel_ it, and I don’t want to have to see it in their eyes every time I walk by them.”

Peter knew he was gaping like an idiot, but he didn’t care. He’d bet every single thing he owned on nothing of this being true even one bit. “Look, Tony… I don’t want to sound like I don’t believe you, but don’t you think you’re misinterpreting things? Maybe it was you who kept oddly silent, so they didn’t speak-“

“I had this happen to me before,” Tony said, clenching his fists. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to do this.”

“I know, but it doesn’t make any sense. They never treated me, or Bucky, or Wanda any different, so why would they-”

“For saying that you don’t want to sound like you don’t believe me, you are asking some strange questions,” Tony growled, coming closer. “Actually, it sounds like you’re neither on my side, nor that you want to live with me.”

Peter refrained from staggering back and instead, leapt up on his toes to kiss Tony, trying to ignore the faint taste of booze on his lips and tongue. It took the man a few seconds until he eventually kissed back, hungrily, unforgiving and claiming.

When they broke apart, Peter was panting, but he managed to choke out a desperate “There’s nothing I’d rather do, you have to believe me,” before Tony made him whimper by squeezing his dick through his pants, getting him hard in _seconds_.

“Oh, baby, that makes me very happy, you know that? Want me to show you just _how_ happy it makes me?”

Peter held onto Tony’s arm for support when the man started kneading his dick through his jeans and bit down on his neck. “Y-yes –ah – p-please.”

They didn’t even make it into the still-unknown bedroom. Tony fucked him right into the living room floor, not caring about any bruises it would give either of them or about any damage done to the probably horribly expensive carpet underneath them.

Although Peter felt tormented by what Tony had said about the Avengers earlier, he tried to focus his mind on the fucking and the fact that they _would be moving in together_! Tony would realize he was in the wrong and then it would get better. He knew it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn’t all too exciting yet but I need to go slow if this is supposed to make any sense :’) And Tony will have to act a certain way to be able to change (you'll see what I mean going forward). They will tell May and the Avengers soon enough, and then the actual plot can start to move along. Sorry if you expected something else <3  
> And yes, this is the apartment Peter died in in the original storyline :'(


	3. [03]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper has news for Tony that could endanger his relationship. Peter struggles to tell May the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Mentions of an abortion. I guess this can be a sensitive topic :(

At about 10 am the next morning, Tony was woken up by a small figure snuggling against his chest, its breath leaving a faint tickle on his skin. “Morning.”

Grunting, the man intended to turn over and sleep some more, but then he remembered that Peter loved to cuddle and that he would probably have to get used to it. Therefore, Tony sighed and moved his arm to make it more comfortable for the both of them, wrapping it around the boy’s petite, yet strong frame.

“You really meant that, yesterday?”, Peter asked, “about moving in with me?”

“I did. And I still do.”

“Does this mean you want to tell everyone sooner? I doubt that we can find a good excuse as to why we want to live here together unless you want to tell them some dad and son bullshit.”

“And make it even weirder when we eventually come out with the truth? Thanks, but no thanks. When does college start?”

“In, uhm, 22 days.”

“Let’s say 20 days, then? That’s almost three more weeks… We can still spend the one or other night in here before we actually move in, but until then we should try to keep it low so nobody will spot us going in.”

“I can’t tell you how relieved I’m going to be when we finally don’t need to hide anymore.”

Tony didn’t know what to respond. He hadn’t felt relieved after coming out, so he doubted he’d feel relieved after telling his friends that he was dating someone from whom they thought was like a son to him. Thinking about it made him feel nauseated, so Tony quickly reached over to the nightstand to grab his phone, only to frown when he had three missed calls from Pepper and a text. _“Call me as soon as you see this.”_

Feeling even worse than just a minute ago, Tony pulled his right arm from under Peter’s head. “Sorry, baby, but I have to make a call.”

Peter grunted, but let him go and turned around, grabbing his own phone. Tony quickly headed into the living room with the phone pressed to his ear, waiting for Pepper to pick up.

She greeted him with an irritated “Where are you?”

“Uhm, morning, what’s the matter?”

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, nobody knows where you’re at and FRIDAY only told me you left the compound yesterday after dinner. Did you… you spent the night somewhere else, didn’t you?”

It was abundantly clear what she was implying. “Sorry, Pep, but I don’t think I owe you a justification about my whereabouts.”

“You know what? You’re right, forget it, but we need to talk, Tony.”

“Well, we are talking right now. What the fuck is so important, that-“

“I’ve just had an appointment and… some fucking paparazzi spotted me, leading to immediate speculations and rumors you might want to know about.”

Tony didn’t like the sound of that _at all_. He glanced over to the bedroom door, hoping Peter wouldn’t come out or eavesdrop. “Okay, just tell me what kind of appointment it was.”

“R-Remember that I wanted to speak to you when…when you told me about… you? I didn’t want to bother you with it anymore but… shit, I just had an abortion, Tony.”

 _Abortion. Abortion. Ab-_ “You had _what_? You were pregnant? W-Was it mine?”

“Of course it was yours,” the woman spat, before breaking into sobs. Tony couldn’t bother about her feelings at the moment. This was an absolute nightmare.

“Then why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“Why should I have? Me and you… _us…_ we were over. There was no sense in bothering you with it after you had told me that _our_ relationship, our _life_ , was a lie.”

“If you had told me, then we could have found a way to deal with it… Fuck, Pepper… you always wanted a child!”

“Yes, Tony. _I_ always wanted to have a family, but I wanted to have it with _you._ I never wanted a child just for the sake of it, and I especially never wanted to end up as a 40-year-old single parent. I would have had to give up my job and… what if some freak or monster or some other fucking predator would have attacked our child? I would have failed at protecting it and you probably would have been on some vacation with your _boyfriend_ , I-…No, Tony, I didn’t want a life like this. It’s my body and my decision. And it had to be fast because I was already at the beginning of my second trimester.”

Tony wanted to scream. He couldn’t deny that a child would have endangered his future with Peter, but he would have had a real heir to his life’s work and… he wouldn’t have had to come out, he could have stayed with Pepper and still secretly see Peter, just like he had been doing all this time.

_It would have been so fucking perfect._

“Then why are you telling me now?”

“Have you not been listening? Paparazzi spotted me going out because someone inside the clinic tipped them off. There are pictures all over the news. I think we should make a statement.”

“No,” Tony growled, “n-not now. Let me think about it, I-I’ll call you later. Bye.” He didn’t realize he had stared sweating until now. The urge to grab something and smash it was strong, but instead of giving in, Tony furiously punched the cushion of the sofa multiple times until tears of anger and pain blurred his vision. How could she do this? Killing their child, the future of Tony’s visions and hard work, the proof that he wasn’t… Fuck. Peter.

Quickly, the man wiped away his tears and hurried back into the bedroom, only to freeze as soon as he had opened the door. Peter was sitting on the bed, clutching his phone with shaking fingers, a look of betrayal on his face when he turned the screen towards Tony.

* * *

“D-Did you know about this? She j-just called you, didn’t she?”

Tony stepped closer, taking the phone from Peter without even looking at it. “She did, and no, I hadn’t known about this. There was no reason to.”

“O-Oh yeah? Why not?”

“Because it’s not my business who she’s fucking. And before you ask, she called me because the whole world will assume it was mine and she wanted to warn me about it. She wants us to publish a statement.”

“A-About what? That you separated two years ago? Come on, Tony, that’s fucking bullshit.” Peter couldn’t help it. Why would Pepper still hold onto Tony’s and her “agreement” for so long and why wouldn’t she force Tony to come clean about their breakup if she was pregnant? It didn’t make any sense. “I-I’m only asking you this once. Don’t lie to me. Is there any chance that it is or was your child?”

Tony sat down on the bed too. Peter could feel the mattress giving in just a little where the man’s weight pressed into it. Tony looked him straight in eye when he spoke. “No.”

“I-If you’re not-if you’re not honest with me right now, then-“

Peter tried to swallow down tears when Tony cupped his face with his hands. “I said ‘No’, baby. I swear. You can call and ask her if you want.”

Although it was tempting, Peter couldn’t, just as little as he could have recorded that video with Tony stating that he would tell everyone about them soon. Also… he had already tried to contact Pepper once and that hadn’t worked out, something Tony wasn’t supposed to know. “O-Okay. I-I…I’m sorry, Tony, it’s just… Nevermind, all right?”

Smiling precariously, he accepted a small, but deep kiss from the older man. Afterwards, they got out of bed and dressed into the clothes they had already worn yesterday before taking the elevator down into the garage again. Tony offered to drive Peter home, but the boy sheepishly asked if he could drop him off at Ned’s instead. “My car’s still there, but since it’s a little further from here, you really don’t have to drive me there, if you’re busy, I mean-“

Tony’s chuckle shut him up. “FRIDAY, navigate me back to Ned Leeds house.”

“Thank you. Uhm, so… what do you plan on doing, if you don’t mind me asking? About the statement? And is Pepper-is she all right?”

“I don’t know yet, to be honest.”

“Don’t you think it would be better if you…you know? Told the public the truth? Not about me, dear god, but about you?”

“I said I don’t know yet,” Tony said in the infamous, dangerous tone he always used when he started to get annoyed or angry, so Peter quickly changed the subject by talking about how excited he was for college.

A few days later, Pepper and Tony did issue a mutual statement, but they didn’t mention the pregnancy, the abortion, or Tony’s sexuality with any word. Instead, they simply wrote that they had ended their relationship on good terms and that they would refuse to comment on any rumors or speculation.

After another week, Peter knew he eventually had to tell May the truth about him moving out. He didn’t inform Tony about his plans because he didn’t want to get him involved. May was his aunt, his only family, and it was his choice if and what he told her.

When he revealed to her that he’d move into an apartment in Greenwich in about a week, she almost dropped the fork she was holding. “Wait, what?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but… things have been a little rough and complicated. I-I will still drop by every day to-to eat with you and-“

“Stop, Peter, stop. First of all… why didn’t you tell me you were looking for apartments again? And… how can you afford to live in _Greenwich_?”

“I won’t have to pay for it.”

“What do you-… No. No, don’t tell me that Tony is paying for it.” With a frustrated sigh she laid the fork onto the plate. “I know you’re eighteen, Peter, but… Is this really what you want? I always thought you didn’t want any _charity_ from him, but then you accept the car and now _this_?”

“It’s not… technically, he-he’s the one l-living there, y-you know and… I-I’m just moving in too?”

“He’s moving back to Manhattan? Because of him and Pepper breaking up?”

“T-That’s one of the reasons, yeah,” Peter said carefully, knowing that he couldn’t tell her the whole truth without getting Tony into even more trouble.

“So what, he’s going to parent you now?” The boy could almost feel the pain she was in. “Make sure you’re eating enough, be there for you when you-“

“It’s not like that, May,” Peter said, voice shaking. He didn’t dare to look at her anymore. “Tony and me… we’ve g-grown closer.”

“If you’re telling me that you want him to adopt you, then-“

Fuckfuckfuck. “N-No, oh god, _no,_ he…we, uhm, we-we’re d-dating.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone have to snort when Tony thought “It would have been so fucking perfect” when thinking about the “perfect” future Pepper ruined by getting an abortion? Like, we do know how that would have ended considering I wrote that one first :P I’m actually crushed I had to do this to the baby, but it would have ended the story right here and there Pepper hadn’t gotten an abortion because Peter would have left Tony immediately and then we kinda would have been back in the original storyline. Don’t forget, this is going for a potentially “happy” Starker ending. Hope you understand <3  
> Also, I'm on vacation in the US right now, but I had this almost finished already so I thought I'd post it today :)


	4. [04]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony tell May and the Avengers that they are dating.

May was only quiet for a few seconds. “What was that, darling? You have to speak louder and more clearly… I just heard you saying that you were _dating_.” She broke into a somewhat hysterical laughter. “I-I mean, that’s not what you said, right? _R-Right_?”

The awkward silence seemed to confirm the woman’s fears. “If this is a joke, Peter, you better tell me right now. Because I don’t think it’s funny at all, and I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret, all right? Please tell me you’re joking, _please_.”

“I thought you liked Tony,” Peter said with tears of disappointment and shame glistening in his eyes.

“I do like Tony, but only as your mentor and n-not as your- You can’t be serious, since when had he been…been…”

“ _Gay?_ Apparently forever, or at least, he had always been bisexual. He told us on my birthday. Pepper and he had broken up a while ago, and that child wasn’t his. H-He also told me about his feelings for me and… I-I’ve been feeling the same, so when we realized that we’ve been secretly been pining after one another for a while, we-”

“ _For a while?_ ” May had never seen more dangerous than in this exact moment. “Are you implying that Tony had been lusting after you before you even turned eighteen?”

“W-Well, first of all, I would have technically been l-legal for him ever since I turned seventeen, and-“

“Oh my god, I-I…I don’t know what to say, Peter. Legal or not, this is…he’s two years older than Ben and he-he’s always been like some sort of father to you. You can’t blame me for feeling nauseated about imagining him thinking t-things about you h-he’s not supposed to… When he appeared on our doorstep all those years ago, you were _fourteen_ , hardly looking any younger than you do today. All this time I let you stay at the compound, even let you have a sleep-over- O-Oh god, please tell me he never touched you.”

Peter had been listening with a weird ringing in his ears. He couldn’t believe Tony had been right about waiting to tell everyone. Would everyone react like May? Admittedly, it had to be a shock for her, and although he could partly understand where she’s coming from, he was still disappointed.

“I just told you, he only came out three weeks ago. So no, he never _touched_ me.” The boy hated himself for having to lie to her, but what other choice did he have?

“You really want me to believe nothing has ever happened between you two although you’re suddenly dating and moving in together?”

“Well, he never touched me _before_ we were dating, is that what you want to hear? He makes me h-happy, May, and I want this. M-More than anything, please don’t ruin this for me.”

May closed her eyes and vigorously rubbed her apparently aching temples with her fingertips. “Sweetie, I don’t want to _ruin_ anything for you.” She opens her eyes again, flashing him a sincere, caring look. “But…Tony is more than twice as old as you, he’s the most famous person on earth, and he’s a billionaire…And don’t you dare assume I think you’re taking advantage of him or that you’re not worth dating someone famous or rich, but I’m…I’m just _afraid_ , Peter. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know what I’m doing, trust me. It might seem early to you, but, as I said, we’ve been pining after one another for while. I had to convince him to accept his feelings, not the other way ‘round. He would have never dared to do anything if I hadn’t been so persistent. I love him, May, and I know he loves me. We just want to be together and be happy. And I can’t be that if you don’t support me. _Please.”_

Sighing deeply, May got up from her seat and came closer to Peter, cupping his face in her hands. “I won’t lie. This isn’t easy for me and I don’t expect it to become easier anytime soon. But I _love_ you and I will support you in every way that I can. However, I want you to promise me, that you will come to me when you need advice or help or just someone to talk to. These doors will always be open for you, sweetie, and it will always be your home.”

Both of them were crying when they embraced.

* * *

Tony almost lost his mind when Peter casually told him that he had told May without getting his permission first. “This concerns the both of us, what the fuck were you thinking?” He wanted to _strangle_ him.

“She’s my only family, Tony! I had to tell her, it was killing me. Also, we’re telling the Avengers in four days anyway, unless… you’ve changed your mind?”

“I haven’t, but…Oh my fucking god, you’re… what have you told her?”

“That you came out on my birthday and that we’ve recently started dating after you we realized we had both had secret crushes on each other for a while. That’s what we decided to tell the others, so I thought-“

“Wait, a _while?”_ Actually, he wanted to hit him too. “What’s a _while_ to you?”

“I don’t know, a few months at most. I also said that nothing ever happened before I turned eighteen, even though she knows the age of consent is seventeen, b-but… all right, I’m sorry, but you don’t have to worry, s-she was kind of okay with it.”

_“Kind of okay?”_

“Well… she thinks it’s early that we’re moving in after only dating for such a short time, and I guess she wishes you were y-younger, but she said she would support us. That’s definitely a win for me. And if _May’s_ okay with it, the others will be too.”

Tony snorted, not knowing whether he should laugh or cry. Peter could be so fucking naïve that it hurt. “Whatever. Just leave the talking to me when we’re telling the others.”

Slightly disgruntled, they ordered food and watched a movie before letting the evening come to an end with angry sex. Peter actually was a little brat during, but for some strange reason it turned Tony on more than it irritated him. Instead of blushing when he called him a cock-hungry whore, Peter only hissed at him to get a move on, calling him an o _ld man_ in return _._

Tony growled when his cock twitched and stopped for a second to manhandle the boy around, flipping him on his arms and knees. Pushing back in, the man let his hand come into contact with the skin on Peter’s ass-cheek, harsh, but careful not to hurt him too badly. “Old man, huh? You’re a naughty little brat who deserves a little spanking, don’t you think?” He smacked his ass again.

“I-I didn’t even…feel t-that, o-oh yes!” Peter moaned loudly when Tony sped up his movements, earning him another, rather brutal smack. “What about this?”

“K-Keep drea-oh, fuck, r-right there!”

Tony couldn’t help grinning. He’s gotta admit, a slutty, cheeky Peter was just what he needed today. Sometimes he did enjoy a little challenge, so he stopped fucking the kid again, enjoying his instant struggle. “W-Wha...T-Tony, please, d-don’t stop.” Then he actually tried fucking himself on the man’s dick, resulting in Tony pulling out completely, ignoring the frustrated yelp from the boy.

“Don’t you dare touch yourself, or I’ll restrain you.”

“With what?” Peter snorted, apparently having fun with the whole ‘talking back’ thing himself. “With your overpriced Louis Vuitton scarf? You can try, but don’t cry when I rip it apart in seconds.”

“You’re starting to walk on thin ice, pretty boy.”

Peter flashed him a sheepish, but still somewhat cocky smile. “Maybe I like it dangerous.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know, can you just please go back to fucking me? Sir? Daddy? Please, I promise I’ll be good now.”

Smirking, Tony leaned in for a sloppy, filthy kiss before lining his dick up at the boy’s entrance again. “Face forward, both hands on the sheets. I don’t want to hear even _one_ more word from you unless it’s ‘Can I cum please?’, understand? Don’t hold back on those hot little moans, though.”

Peter nodded and turned his head back to face the wall, letting out a delightful, wrecked sound as soon as Tony pushed back in.

Four days later, it was the memory of this exact moment keeping Tony sane. If he wanted all his future nights to be as amazing and satisfying as the last one, he needed to go through with it. He and Peter were at the compound, once again seated at the table with the other Avengers. Pepper was there too, apparently at Nat’s insistence, and although Tony was afraid that she might say anything dire, he didn’t dare asking her to leave either.

“H-How are you doing?” Peter asked her eventually, voice shaking ever so slightly.

Pepper flashed him a kind smile and shrugged her shoulders. “Although it’s been three weeks now, I still think about it a lot. It wasn’t an easy decision.”

“I can imagine,” the boy mumbled, and, sensing danger, Tony quickly changed the subject by asking Wanda loudly for the recipe of today’s delicious meal.

After dessert, Peter gazed at him meaningfully, waiting for him to announce the news. Tony wasn’t as nervous as he had been when he had come out, but he still felt slightly sick. If only Pepper wasn’t here…

“I actually have some news, my friends. I, uhm, I’m going to move out on Sunday.”

Everyone gaped at him for a while, before Bruce pulled himself together. “Are you serious? Why?”

“I…I’ve recently started seeing someone and we’re moving in together. The apartment is in Manhattan, so I’ll probably still fly over almost daily to work in the lab or something.” Tony noticed Natasha and Wanda exchanging a worrying look before glancing over at Pepper. Not daring to turn his head towards her, he stared at the table instead. “So, yeah, uhm… A-Also… the person I’m dating is a man and y-you already know him.”

“We do?” Rhodey asked, flabbergasted, eyeing Bucky suspiciously, who immediately put up his hands in defense and shook his head. “Who is it?”

Tony swallowed down the lump in his throat, but he still couldn’t get a sound out.

Peter’s voice was quiet, but confident, when he spoke. “It’s me. And this is not a joke, so don’t even ask.”

Whereas a few gasps could be heard, Rhodey seemed to be in denial. “N-No, this is…No, you… No. Tony, tell me that’s not true.”

“Why?” Tony looked at him defiantly, relieved that he had found his voice again, “What’s your problem, Rhodey?”

“M-My problem? I-I don’t have a _problem_ , but… oh my god, you two are serious, aren’t you?”

“We are,” Peter said, “and I’m sorry if this is weird, but… It’s what I, what _we_ , want. I’ve had a crush on Tony for about two years, and I never thought I’d have a chance with him for obvious reasons, but when he came out on my birthday… I-I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I found out he liked me too, and although it took some persuading on my part, here we are… I’ve never really seen him as a father-figure, just to make this clear because I know you all assume that I did…and I don’t care about the age, so you shouldn’t either. I’m eighteen and I haven’t been an innocent baby for a while now, just so you know.”

Although they had agreed on leaving the speaking to Tony, he was actually relieved Peter had taken the lead. He hadn’t said anything Tony wasn’t comfortable with, but he still wanted to make a few things clear. “Uhm, yeah, but before you assume that I’ve been thinking this way about him for longer, I didn’t. Only for about a month before I came out. It just happened, and although it would have been legal in this state, I wasn’t comfortable about it at all. And I still hadn’t been when he confronted me about it after my coming out. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get together with him, but…he was pretty convincing.”

Tony forced himself to smile at Peter, who beamed back. For a while, nobody said anything, but then-

“I once dated a girl who was nineteen when I was thirty-three. I kind of felt the same as you, Tony, but in the end, it didn’t matter to us what anyone else thought. She was fine with it, I was fine with it… and if it’s fine for you and Peter, it’s not my right to say anything against it.” Sam looked at the other Avengers encouragingly.

Wanda followed suit. “I mean, Vision isn’t really human, but if he was, he’d be quite a bit older than me too, so I guess it’s fine? But it’s just like Sam said… it’s not really our business.”

“We won’t judge you or your mutual feelings for each other,” Steve said, although he was eyeing Peter rather strangely. What was that about? Then Tony remembered what Peter had told Rogers on his _seventeenth birthday._ That he was dating a guy who didn’t treat him like Peter wanted, and who wanted to keep their relationship a secret _for another year_ because he was _still in the closet._

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope May’s reaction was somewhat believable? I kinda like to think that although she would not be happy with it at all, she would still support Peter if he asked her to. And it’s not like she can forbid them to see each other lol. Also, I know that Tony still has abusive tendencies, but as I said before, I need to take this slow. And since he defines so much over sex, I tried to make the short “smut” scene a little different, to show that a small change might already be happening.


	5. [05]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony move in together.

In the end, almost everyone turned out to be supportive, with the exception of Rhodey and Natasha. They didn’t say they _wouldn’t_ support them, but it seemed a little harder for them to accept the relationship considering they were overly protective of Peter.

The only person staying completely silent throughout the rest of the meal was Pepper. Tony caught her staring at the table with blank eyes whenever he risked a peek, but he couldn’t blame her; it had to be a shock. He just hoped to find time to talk to her before she said or asked anything dire.

The opportunity presented itself when everyone got up from the table to watch a movie. When Natasha hurried over to Pepper to show her support, she mumbled something intelligible and went towards the corridor alone, probably intending to head back into the room she was staying in.

“I’ll go to the bathroom,” Tony mumbled in Peter’s ear and hurried to follow her unobtrusively. He had stopped the woman before she could close the door behind her. “Pep! Wait, please.”

“What do you want?” She asked more aggressively than he’d expected.

“I, uhm, just wanted to make sure you’re okay. N-Not with what we just told everyone because I can understand if you’re not, but-“

“Has this been going on for longer?”

“What? No, it’s just like we said, we only-“

“Come on, Tony… You had all these weird meetings with him all of a sudden and wanted me to act like we weren’t together anymore whenever he was around.”

“Yes, because he had a crush on me, like I already told you over a year ago. He just confirmed that. There was nothing going on, I swear. I just didn’t want him to be upset and…remember the Christmas Gala? It hurt him seeing you kiss me because he thought he could never have me. That’s what I was talking about. And about spending more time with him… I don’t want to think I already felt something back then because it really would have been even weirder than it is now, but… maybe I did, I don’t know. Shit, I’m sorry, Pep. It really isn’t easy for me either.”

“Oh yeah? Sounds quite easy to me considering you’re starting a whole new life with him in a few days. It was him you spent the night with right before my abortion, wasn’t it? Does he know that you told me we could have worked things out if you had known about the pregnancy sooner?”

“I meant that we could have been co-parents or whatever, not that we would have stayed together. If you don’t believe me that we haven’t had anything going before we had broken up, why don’t you go outside and ask him?”

 _Please say no, please say no…_ Tony did feel guilty about lying to both of them, especially Peter, but he couldn’t let the truth get out. Not if he wanted to risk ending up alone. He’d just have to get over today, and then nobody would care about it anymore. They would be happy, and Pepper would find someone who was perfect for her soon enough too.

“I heard what he said, Tony, and if he said it to protect you, then he will say it again. I don’t take him as someone who’s fine with cheating, and since he always knew we’d been together, no matter if we acted like it or not, I guess I don’t have any other choice than to believe you. But you can’t expect me to be happy about finding out that you’d secretly been in love with someone else while we were dating, someone who’s not only twenty-two years younger than me, but who has bodily features that I don’t.”

With that, Pepper burst into tears, turned around and walked into her room, smashing the door in Tony’s face.

* * *

In the meantime, Peter had to deal with an awkward conversation himself. Steve cornered him in the kitchen when the boy had offered to get crisps and popcorn, addressing the conversation they had on Peter’s seventeenth birthday.

“I just have to ask you… One year ago, you told me about your boyfriend and said he wasn’t treating you all that nice and… I remember that he hadn’t come out yet, so you guys had to keep your relationship a secret.”

“Y-Yeah, uhm, that was my ex-boyfriend. Why?”

“Well, it does sound familiar. Especially considering you telling me that he wanted to wait about going public for another year or something?”

“Yeah, because… he would have finished school by then. We. I-I mean, when _we_ would have finished school by then.”

Steve sighed, looking more serious than ever. “Pete… I can’t help but feeling that you were talking about Tony back then. And if-“

“N-No, Steve, really, it-it wasn’t Tony. The guy… the guy’s name was _Thomas_ and… I could show you texts and selfies if you don’t believe me?”

Peter prayed that Steve didn’t actually wanted to see proof, but just like he had assumed, the man only shook his head and sighed again. “I just… I want you to know that I’m here for you if there’s anything you need to talk about. We all are… Even if it’s about Tony, all right? If he doesn’t treat you well-”

“Thank you, I, uhm, I really appreciate that. He’s the nicest guy though, you really don’t have to worry.” Acting maybe a little bit too gleefully, Peter grabbed the bags with crisps and hurried back into the living room. He felt horribly guilty for being dishonest to Steve, but he had to protect Tony at all costs. Nobody could find out that they had been dating when Peter was still sixteen, not even their friends.

At the same time, Tony came back from the bathroom, flashing him a brief smile. The boy tried to sit next to him on the couch, but Rhodey quickly squeezed himself between them, grinning triumphantly.

It was impossible to be mad at him. Peter knew he just needed some time to get used to it. Also, Tony probably wouldn’t have been comfortable kissing or cuddling in front of the others anyway, so it really was fine. In just two days they could cuddle all they want.

To avoid a possible confrontation between Steve and Tony, Peter asked his boyfriend right after the movie if they could leave and sleep at the apartment. Although Steve eyes bore into Peter intently when they said goodbye to everyone shortly before 11 pm, he fortunately kept quiet.

The day of the moving wasn’t quite as exhausting and annoying as Peter would have thought. Tony had hired a professional moving company who moved all of the boy’s belongings to Manhattan in only three hours. Since Tony and another team were still busy at the compound, Peter took the chance to show May around the apartment.

“So, uhm, that’s it. A little chaotic with all the boxes standing around but, uhm, yeah. Do you like it?”

“Sure. It’s lovely. A little bland, maybe.”

“It will get better as soon as we have some belongings lying around. And… I was hoping you might want to go shopping for decoration next weekend?”

“Sure. I’d love to,” May said again, failing at looking overly excited.

Peter’s heart sank. “You don’t like it, do you?”

“Sweetie…what’s there not to like? This place is amazing, but it’s not you. Not yet, at least. I would love to help you buy some decorations and maybe some flowers, but…” The woman wiped away the single tear that had escaped her lash line, “I-I’m just… I can’t believe you’re moving out. I know it’s normal for a boy your age going to college, but… y-you’re all I have left and when you stopped looking for a place to stay, I thought I would be granted a few more years with you.”

Peter hugged her tightly, feeling close to tears himself. “I’ll call you every day and I’ll come over thrice a week. Promise.”

May gave a combination between a laugh and a sob. “I doubt Tony would be okay with that.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” a voice said from behind them. Startled, they quickly broke apart and turned around to face Tony coming over from the doorway. He flashed May a kind, but slightly reserved smile. “Peter can come over as often as he wants. I’d never say anything against that.”

Peter shifted from one foot to the other when May and Tony shook each other’s hand rather awkwardly. “Nice to see you, May.”

“…Hey,” May calmly said after a few seconds, still shaking Tony’s hand.

“Hey.”

“A-Are the moving firm guys downstairs?” Peter quickly asked, “Shouldn’t we go and help them?”

“Uhm… no, Pete. I’m paying them to do their job, there’s no need to help them do it.”

May frowned, but didn’t say anything.

“O-Okay, uhm… I think I’ll start clearing these boxes, then.”

“Good idea,” Tony smiled. “I can help you if you tell me what goes where?”

“I’ll help too,” May said, and so the three of them started unboxing Peter’s stuff. They were working in silence until a sudden, barking laugh from Tony caught Peter’s attention. “What is it?”

* * *

“You’re such a fanboy,” Tony grinned, throwing an Iron Man action figure at the boy.

Peter muttered something unintelligible, going pink around the nose. He was so adorable and if May hadn’t been here, Tony would have probably devoured him right then and there.

Instead, the man carried another box over to the bookshelf and started putting books and comics away. After a few minutes, Peter vanished into the walk-in closet to deal with his clothes, leaving May and Tony alone in the living room.

For a while, none of the two dared to say anything, but then May seemed to pull herself together. Although she was shorter than Tony by a few inches, she somehow managed to stare him down. “I’m sorry but I gotta say something. I want you to know that I will keep my promise and try to support you two with… _all_ _this_ , but if you hurt Peter, me and you are going to have a real problem.”

“Okay. Listen, May…this conversation as awkward for me as it is for you, but…I love Peter, and I’ll do everything I can to make him happy and be the boyfriend he deserves. You have to trust me on this.”

“I… It’s so hard to understand how you… He’s so god-damn young, Tony. You’re older than Ben and he’s barely an adult. This is not easy for me.”

“Do you think it’s easy for _me?_ ” Tony snarled. “I understand, I really do, and if he was my son or nephew, I’d probably say the same thing, if not worse. I tried to fight it with all my might, but I failed. We love who we love and… Consider what I gave up for him. I left Pepper because I couldn’t deny my feelings anymore and I left my home and my friends to be closer to him. And-”

Tony immediately shut up when he thought he had heard a noise in the corridor. “Did you hear that?”

“Uhm…no, what?” May asked and turned around with a frown.

“Nothing, I just… I don’t want Peter to hear us talking about him. He has good ears, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” The woman smiled weakly and sighed. “I don’t think we should discuss this here anyway, but… Please mark my words. He’s my baby and I’ll protect him until the day I die.”

Tony couldn’t suppress a grin. “I would never dare to do anything to anger you. Trust me, you’re scarier than every bad guy I ever fought.”

Seconds later, both of them heard another noise, but this time, it was loud and clear. Three men entered the apartment, each one carrying two boxes. “Where do you want us to put them, Mr. Stark?”

“Just carry them up here and put them on the floor. I’ll take it from here.”

As soon as they’re gone, Tony hurried over to the bedroom and asked Peter to stay in there until the company was done. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want them to figure out that I’m moving in with anyone, let alone with you.”

Peter sighed, but nodded. “All right, don’t worry about it. I don’t want the public to know anyway, but… I-I’ve been wanting to ask you… Is it okay if I tell MJ and Ned when I see them later?”

Tony felt panic rising up in him. “I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t tell anyone apart from our closest friends and your aunt?”

“They _are_ my closest friends. My only friends, basically, apart from the Avengers, who are more like… I don’t know, just not friends my age. Please, they’ve known about me being Spider-Man for ages and haven’t told anyone. And that’s a much bigger secret than us dating, especially since we can’t keep that a secret for all eternity anyway. Please, Tony.”

“What if they do tell anyone though? What if they-“

“Tony, _please._ I know you can’t trust them because you’ve only seen them like twice, but you have to trust _me._ They won’t say anything. Do you believe me?”

It wasn’t easy, but when Peter looked at him with his big brown puppy eyes pleadingly, Tony felt something in his insides melt away. “Okay...I trust you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear it will get more exciting at some point xD And don't worry, Steve will talk to Tony eventually ;)


	6. [06]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter tells his friends. Steve confronts Tony.

MJ and Ned reacted almost exactly like Peter had imagined. He was lying next to MJ on the girl’s bed, facetiming Ned.

“Told you he was dating someone,” MJ said to Ned with a superior grin, who rolled his eyes. Facing Peter, she asked, “It’s Brian, isn’t it?”

“Uhm… who is Brian?”

MJ’s eyes widened. “The jock you were always drooling after?”

Peter blushed. “I wasn’t _drooling_ after him, I only said he was good looking. Once. I didn’t even remember him until now. Also, I don’t think he’s gay.”

Now it was Ned’s to smile triumphantly. “See. Looks like I was just as right as you were.”

MJ growled. “All right, who is it then? Is he even from our school? Oh my god, he’s in college, right? That’s why you never told us, because he’s older than you!”

“Guys, I wasn’t dating him or anyone else until _after_ my eighteenth birthday.”

“Oh, come on, you’ve been acting all mysterious and weird for way longer. Weirder than normal, at least. Spill it out, who is it and since when has this been going on?”

With a groan, Peter hid his face with his hands. “Itstonyandivebeeneighteenalready.”

Whereas Ned dully asked who Tony was, MJ gasped. “No fucking way.”

“What? Do you know him?” Ned’s voice came from the screen.

“You know him too, idiot,” MJ hissed, causing Ned to snort. “Oh yeah? I highly doubt Peter means Tony _Stark_ , so no, I have no idea who he could mean.”

“It _is_ Mr. Stark,” Peter mumbled and quickly told his stunned friends all about Tony being secretly bi or even gay for all his life, that he had broken up with Pepper long before him and Peter started dating and that she had been pregnant from someone else. “We’re moving in together. Actually, we did just earlier today. May and the other Avengers already know, of course. They are all supportive, so I hope you are too. But…please keep this to yourselves, all right? We are trying to keep it from the public for as long as possible.”

Eventually, Peter risked a glance at the phone and MJ. His two friends were staring at him with open mouths, until- “Have you fucked him yet?”

“W-What? MJ, I-“

“I need to hear details. Is he as properly ‘built’ as it’s being said? Is he more on the passionate side or is he into vanilla sex? I’m sure he’s one hell of a lover. Shit, how fucking lucky are you?”

“Uhm, isn’t he a bit _old_?” Ned interrupted, coughing. “I mean… and he’s… he’s a billionaire.”

“I want a sugar daddy too,” MJ sighed with a dreamy expression, sending a rush of annoyance through Peter.

“Listen, he’s _not_ my sugar daddy. I know he’s older than me and rich, but it’s-it’s not like that. We have real feelings for each other and… I’m not taking advantage of him like that, and he isn’t either.”

“He bought you a car worth more than what both of our parents make in a year. And I doubt he’s moving into a crappy one-bedroom-apartment in the suburbs, so-”

“So what? I never asked for a car, I actually tried to talk him out of it. My feelings for him have nothing to do with money. _I_ wouldn’t mind moving into a crappy one-bedroom apartment with him, but it’s not my fault that that’s not his way of living.”

“And you don’t think you’re just… his toy boy or something?”

Peter blushed. “No. He wouldn’t have come out if he didn’t love me. He’s been traumatized for his whole life because of his father being a homophobic asshole, and-”

“Wait, but you just said that he came out before you two even flirted,” Ned said, eventually participating in the conversation again after listening silently for a while.

The shade of pink on Peter’s cheeks deepened. _Fuck_. “I-I…I meant that-“

“Cut. The. Bullshit. You’ve been seeing each other for longer, haven’t you? Just like I said, you’ve been acting mysterious and weird for a while. You can trust us.” MJ smiled. “We won’t tell anyone.”

Peter fought an inward battle, but he knew it was pointless. He’d fucked up, and now he had to try and ease the damage as much as possible. “A-All right, we…we started seeing each other a few months after my seventeenth birthday. And before you ask, it was already legal back then.”

“I know what the age of consent is,” MJ said drily, “I mean… it _is_ weird, I can’t help it. No matter if you’re seventeen or eighteen or nineteen… he’s still an old dude. Although a _hot, I’ll-gladly-call-you-daddy_ old dude. Oh my god, has he asked you to call him daddy?”

“NO,” Peter snapped, trying to ignore MJ’s laughter when he felt his face burn impossibly hotter, “Also, can you please stay serious?”

“Sorry, Pete, I just… this is like a Mary Sue fanfiction coming to life. Just tell me if you’ve had sex yet, then I’ll shut up. Although, since you’ve been dating for so long, I highly doubt you haven’t, so you better tell me if it’s good instead.”

“Ignore her,” Ned said, forcing his mouth into a smile. “I-I’m grateful that you told us, man. I hope he makes you happy and… yeah. I don’t know if I can be of any help considering I have next to no experience with relationships, but… if you need anything, you can always talk to me. And I promise I won’t ask you nasty questions.”

“You’re just saying that because Tony’s not some hot girl,” MJ huffed before beaming at Peter once more. “Come on, just… give me _something_.”

To be honest, it would be a relief to be able to talk about these things, especially considering Peter often didn’t know how to properly react to Tony’s demands. But first of all, he doubted MJ would still be ‘supportive’ if she knew the whole truth, and secondly, it had gotten a lot better recently. Old Tony would have never tolerated him behaving and talking back like he did last week. “I’m one hundred percent happy. That’s all I’m going to say.”

* * *

At 22:15 pm, Peter arrived at the apartment – at _home_ – and flung himself onto the couch next to Tony. “How did it go?”

“All right. They were teasing me a little but not in a way that I didn’t expect. Wow, you’ve come far,” the boy said, glancing around the living room. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk further about his friends, so Tony didn’t push him.

“Yeah, most of the boxes are empty now. Have you eaten already?”

“Yes, we ordered pizza but… I’m still kinda hungry.”

“I have some Chinese leftovers in the fridge.”

“It’s fine, I… I didn’t mean hungry for food.”

Tony shot him an amused look. “Oh, yeah? What are you hungry for then?”

 _‘It was the right decision’,_ Tony thought an hour later after they both collapsed on the bed, exhausted, but completely satisfied from the special _dessert_ Peter had required. He’d initiated sex a lot more often lately, and although it had been less rough than what Tony normally liked, it hadn’t been bad at all. Yes, it had been the right decision to come out and break things off with Pepper, even though it had led to the loss of his presumably only chance at having a biological child. However, it’s no use pondering over alternative realities and possibilities anymore, it was like it was. Smiling, Tony turned around to face Peter in the dark, who was already drifting off to sleep. “I love you, baby boy.”

“Loveyoutoo.”

In the early morning, the two men were awoken by Peter’s alarm going off, signaling him it was time for his first day in college. Peter was so overly excited and nervous when he put on his clothes that he knocked over a framed picture on the drawer and bumped into the door to the walk-in closet twice. As a result, Tony decided to give up on sleeping and instead, started brewing his young boyfriend a fresh coffee while he kept running around the apartment like a panicked chicken.

“You sure you got everything?” the man asked with a yawn when Peter eventually grabbed his jacket and the coffee-to-go-cup Tony had set on the counter for him.

“Yeah, I think. I hope. Uhm, wow, this is very sweet, thanks for the coffee.”

“You’re welcome, babe. Now off you go, or you’ll be late on your first day. Will you be taking the car?”

“No, I…it’s not that far, it won’t take me longer than a few minutes if I jog. And I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to get a free parking lot, so…”

Tony could sense that he was lying; knowing Peter, he probably didn’t want to catch everyone’s attention by rolling onto campus with his Spyder. He tried not to be bothered by it and instead went in for short kiss. “Bye, babe. Have fun.”

“Thanks. You sure you won’t be bored without me?”

“I’ll probably head over to the lab, so, probably not.” Tony smiled. “But when you’re back home, I’ll require your full attention, got it?”’

“Sure,” Peter grinned and got on his toes for one more quick kiss. “See you at three, bye. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

This whole thing really wasn’t that different to the relationship he had with Pepper. Apart from the fact that it was more real… more real than anything Tony had ever had. He really wouldn’t have needed to be so scared of this at all.

Two hours later, Tony regretted being so naïve when Steve visited him in the lab only minutes after he had arrived. “Cap? To what do I owe this pleasure? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you down here before.”

Steve didn’t smile; he looking oddly serious. “Thought I’d say hello. How have you been?”

“Good.”

“And Pete?”

“Good? It’s his first day of college today.”

“Mhm.”

Something clearly was up and it irritated Tony horribly. “Okay, what do you want? I thought you didn’t have any problems with us being together?”

“I don’t. But there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Then spit it out,” Tony hissed, glaring at Steve. He had a feeling what this was about.

“Do you remember what we were talking about after Peter’s last birthday? When I told you that he confided in me about his boyfriend whom he had clearly been dating _before_ his _seventeenth_ birthday and who… wasn’t treating him all too well?”

Tony was shaking with anger. “Why don’t you just fucking ask me what you really want to know instead of beating around the bush? Or are you too much of a _sissy_ to do that?”

Steve frowned, blatantly angry himself, but when he spoke, his voice was calm. “Was he talking about you?”

“No. And the fact that you even think I would date him while he was still sixteen or that I would treat him badly is fucking insulting.”

“Come on, Tony… He told me he had to keep the relationship a secret because the other guy was still in the closet and wanted him to wait for another year to come out. Also, you reacted very weirdly when I told you about it. Kind of jealous, actually.”

“I was NOT jealous. I was worried.”

“You acted strangely before I even gave you any details. I remember it clearly, but back then I thought that it was your dad instincts. We both know that’s not true though.”

Tony felt his anger slowly turning into panic. “All right, I… I might have already had a… crush on him or whatever, but I would have never made a move. Never. Not when he’s this young. I was mainly worried about him;,you have to believe me. Or… you know what? Don’t believe me, I don’t care. Me and him know what really happened and if you think you have to act like a saint, feel free to. I never hurt him and I would never hurt him. Now excuse me, I have work to do.”

“You don’t behave like you’re innocent, to be honest.”

“Wrong, Rogers. _You_ don’t act like I’m innocent and have found me guilty because of some weird assumptions you’ve made. I can’t possibly prove that I _haven’t_ been dating Peter for longer. The only one who could, would be Peter.”

“I already talked to him, actually.”

Tony inhaled sharply, trying to withstand the urge to hit and strangle the other man. What gave him the fucking right to do that? “Then I don’t know why you’re still talking to me. He couldn’t have told you anything else than what I’m telling you right now.”

Steve didn’t even blink an eye. “Thing is, he would say anything to protect you. When he offered to show me pictures of his ex, I could see that he wasn’t being honest with me. That there’s nothing he could have shown me if I insisted on it. However, I don’t need proof for what I know is the truth. It’s not my intention of giving you any sort of trouble, Tony. Neither with the law, nor with Pepper. But I want to be every clear with you: Treat him nicely, or we’ll have a problem. He’s just a kid, and a sensible at that.”

“I think that I happen to know him better than you, _Steve_ ,” Tony spat, about a second away of hitting Rogers right across his stupid, illicitly handsome face. “I just can’t fucking believe you’re thinking so low of me after all we’ve been through.”

“Let me ask you one question, Tony,” Steve said, still very much calm and civilized, making Tony even more furious somehow. “If Peter implied that he was getting raped or at least coerced into having rough, violent sex he’s not comfortable with, and if you thought it was me whom he was talking about… what would you do?”

Tony gaped at the other man, completely baffled. Not only had he forgotten the details about the conversation and what ~~Peter had implied~~ Steve had made of it, he had also never thought about it like that before. No matter how angry or upset the question made him feel, the answer was clear as day. “I would… I-I would probably try to kill you.”

The smile Steve flashed him was both sad and sincere. “Then you should call yourself lucky that I’m not you. If Peter is happy then I am willing to forget the past and not bring it up ever again or speak to anyone else about it, for that matter. I will, however, keep a close eye on the both of you. Are we clear on that?”

Tony’s voice was grave when he answered. “Yes. We are.”


	7. [07]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony apologizes to Peter for his past mistakes.

Peter’s first day in college was as exhausting as it was exciting. Almost all of his professors tried to start the semester with interesting experiments or fun, albeit challenging exercises, making sure to leave a good impression on the students. However, when the day was over, Peter couldn’t help looking forward to coming home and snuggle up to his boyfriend.

To his greatest disappointment, Tony wasn’t back yet when Peter entered the penthouse. He tried calling him but the older man didn’t pick up, causing Peter to furrow his brows. Hadn’t Tony said he was going to require his full attention when he came back? He had also mentioned visiting the lab though, and since it wouldn’t be the first time that Tony lost track of time there, there was probably no need to worry about it.

At least Peter now had time to start with some of the assignments he had already been given. Unless…should he change into his Spider-Man suit and swing around Downtown Manhattan for a while, checking if everything was in order? After all, it had been three weeks since the last time he'd been out on patrol... one or two hours couldn't hurt. Although he would probably regret not having done the assignments right away, Peter changed into his suit and exited the building through the roof access. Living in Greenwich meant that it took Peter only a few minutes to get to the busiest spots in Downtown and Midtown Manhattan. Although it was rather quiet this afternoon, the boy still greatly enjoyed interacting with the residents and some tourists, quickly losing track of time.

When he eventually swung back to the penthouse, the sun had started to set. Judging by the shoes scattered in the vestibule, Tony was home too now. “Heey, sorry, I lost track of time, have you been wainting for long?”

He was met with silence. Frowning, Peter went into the living-room, where he found his boyfriend standing at the floor-length windows, gazing into the distance. “Hey… Didn’t you hear me?”

“I did.”

When the man continued to stare out of the window, Peter was struck with a strange feeling of foreboding. “Is everything all right?”

“Where have you been?”

“I was out on patrol because you weren’t home. Is- Is everything all right? Did something happen at the lab?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Tony said, eventually turning around. He looked so angry and… _devastated_ that Peter’s hackles raised. “Rogers confronted me about last year. When you confided in him about your boyfriend treating you badly.”

 _No! Steve didn’t…he couldn’t.._. Panic engulfed the boy, setting his veins on fire. “Look, T-Tony, I only said-“

“I know what you said,” Tony spat, posturing himself in front of Peter who tried not to wince. “The second you left the compound on your seventeenth birthday Rogers cornered me and told me every single detail about your little chat with him.”

Peter wanted to cry. He never expected Steve to betray him like this… to be fair, he had probably been worried and couldn’t know that Peter had been talking about Tony, but… but… wait a second…if Tony had known all along, then why... ”Why have you never… confronted me about it?”

Tony snorted and returned to gazing out of the window. “Because I didn’t want to make things awkward between us. Instead, I tried to make them better and be more considerate about your wishes and… desires.”

So that’s why Tony had gone on that brunch date with him and suggested doing more things together. It finally started to make sense… “Look, Tony, I am sorry about what I said. Things have changed, and-“

“Yes, things have changed. Because now, Rogers knows whom you were speaking about. I tried to convince him that you were talking about your ex, just like you apparently did too, but he’s unfortunately not as stupid as he looks. He knows it was me and therefore, he also knows that this has started long before your seventeenth birthday.”

Suddenly, Peter felt so sick to his stomach that he was afraid he’d have to throw up. “N-N-No, he… He can’t think that, I- I will talk to him again and I don’t know, pay some guy to pose as my ex or whatever and-“

“What part of ‘he knows’ did you not understand? But don’t worry,” Tony let out a barking, bitter laugh, “As long as I don’t _rape_ you again he promised to keep quiet.”

An awkward silence followed, causing tears of guilt and shame to build in the corners of Peter’s eyes. “T-Tony… please, I- I never said that you… I know h-he read too much into it, but-“

“Did he, though?” Tony turned around once more, showing that his own eyes were full of tears too. “You know, I've given it a lot of thought today. I remembered how furious I had been about it last year and how much I wanted to- to get back at you for ‘ _overexaggerating’_ and speaking ill of me at first. And to be completely honest, the exact same thought struck me again today. But then I remembered how I… _persuaded_ you into sleeping with me for the first time although you had clearly not been ready for it. And how I… _talked you into_ consenting to certain… _actions_ and _ideas_ of mine although I knew you only agreed because I would get angry otherwise. I _knew_ and still went through with it, because I cared more about myself and my needs than about you... I-I don’t fucking know what’s wrong with me... All I know is that I-I’m sorry, Pete. You didn’t deserve this.”

Peter had been listening with bated breath, but when Tony sniveled and made a pause, he couldn’t contain himself anymore. Sobbing, he threw himself into his boyfriend’s arms and pulled him into a tight embrace. Tony tried to push him away but Peter only clung to him more desperately. The revelations hurt, a lot, but it hurt even more to see Tony so devastated.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said, causing the man to groan.

“ _You’re sorry?_ Didn’t you hear what I just said?” Once more, Tony made an unsuccessful attempt at freeing himself from Peter’s tight grip.

“I did. But I don’t care, I just… What’s done is done. All that matters from now on is us going forward and as of right now, I am happy. Happy that we’ve finally told our friends and that we are here and… I love you, Tony. I love you so much.”

“But-“ the engineer began, only to be silenced by Peter’s lips pressing against his own. At first, the older man tried to withdraw his head, but eventually, his resistance crumbled. Rough hands came up to cup Peter’s tear-stained cheeks, and almost desperately, the boy licked into Tony’s mouth, kissing him until they were forced to break apart in order to catch breath.

Peter didn’t waste any time to drag Tony over to the couch, and although the older man weakly protested at first, he eventually forgot his inhibitions and gave the boy what he demanded _loudly_ and _clearly_.

Afterwards, they even cuddled on the sofa. Tony’s arm was wrapped around the teen’s slender shoulders, absentmindedly stroking Peter’s belly. “Does this mean you… really forgive me and still want to live here with me?”

Peter sighed and placed a tender kiss on Tony’s cheek. “I told you, _I love you_. Also… the fact that you were honest about it not only with yourself but also with me shows me that you’ve changed and don’t want to be that person anymore.“

“I don’t,” Tony said, sounding thoroughly relieved. “And I swear on my life and honor that I’ll never… _force_ or talk you into doing anything you’re not completely comfortable with ever again. I love you more than anything, baby boy.”

* * *

It was 7 o’clock in the morning when the angry ringing of the apartment phone interrupted their sleep. Tony wanted to ignore it, but Peter urged him to pick up. With a groan, the man got up and shuffled into the living room, picking up the phone with an angry ‘Yes?’

As assumed, it was the concierge. “Sorry to disturb you so early, sir, but there’s a whole lot of people outside requesting to speak with you. Reporters, mostly.”

_“Reporters?”_

“Yes, Mr. Stark. Normally, I would not bother you with it, but they’ve been harassing other residents exiting the building, so I wanted to ask if you maybe… want to come down?”

“No, I don’t want to come down. How do they even know I live here, have you told them anything?”

“Of course not, sir. If you don’t come down though, I’m afraid I’ll be forced to call the police.”

“Feel free to,” Tony growled and hung up. That fucking concierge… Tony was sure that either he or the house management had gossiped, otherwise it would be an odd coincidence if reporters showed up here only two days after he’d moved in. Unless… what about Peter’s friends? He had just told them about it, and… _oh my god._ What if…

With a bad sense of foreboding, Tony hurried back into the bedroom and snatched his phone from the night stand, ignoring Peter tired mumbles of ‘what’s going on’. He almost dropped his phone when he read the headline at TMZ.

> _“EXCLUSIVE: Iron Man’s BARELY LEGAL secret!”_

Even worse, though, was the sub headline.

> _“Tony Stark spotted making out with his male intern!”_

Two days. They lasted two _fucking_ days in their new home without the media finding out about it. Shaking all over, Tony started reading the article published almost an hour ago at 6:15 am.

> _“It seems that everyone’s favorite Avenger Tony Stark has moved on rather quickly from his long-term relationship with Stark Industries’ CEO Virginia Potts. According to a reliable source, Tony Stark has recently left the Avengers compound in Upstate New York to move in with a barely grown-up boy toy. Yes – BOY toy._ _In fact, the boy Tony Stark was unashamedly smooching in his new penthouse in Greenwich Village last night seems to be no other than Peter Parker, the teenaged intern he’s been spotted with out and about numerous times ever since last summer._
> 
> _What do you think? Is young Peter Parker (who only just graduated from Midtown High School for Science and Technology) the real reason for Tony Stark’s break up with Virginia Potts or is he nothing more than a meaningless rebound for the notorious playboy? Let us know in the comments below._ _At the very least, it seems as if everyone’s favorite Avenger is slowly reverting back to his old, unmoral self. As of now, we haven’t been able to get a statement from either party involved, but we’ll keep you posted.”_

There were a few pictures attached which hardly left any room for denial. They were rather blurry, clearly being taken from a distance and when it had already been dark outside. A bunch of them showed Tony standing at the window in their well-lit living room, and the others… whereas Tony was only seen from behind, most of Peter’s face was visible, eyes closed, no doubt kissing someone who could hardly be mistaken for anyone else but Tony. He was _fucked._

Before he knew it, Tony retched, only just making it to the sink in time before heaving his guts up. Trembling and sweating heavily, he desperately tried to keep himself together. Was this payback for what he’d done to Peter? Was this what he deserved, being called-out and made fun of by the public, just like it had happened so many times in his nightmares?

It wasn’t fair. Tony had been willing to cast aside his own desires in order to make Peter feel better and make up for his past mistakes, but if this was the price for it-

“Tony? Is everything okay? Are you sick?” Peter carefully opened the bathroom door, looking rather tired and worried.

All of a sudden, fury surged inside of Tony. He struggled to get up and glared at the teenager, grinding his teeth in anger. “Why did you have to tell your fucking friends about us, huh?”

Confusion sparked Peter’s eyes. “What?”

“Apparently, they had nothing better to do than to rat us out to the papers.”

It took a few seconds until it dawned on the boy. “N-No, Tony, they wouldn’t- they would never do that.”

“Then explain to me how this came to be,” Tony yelled, throwing his phone at the boy who reacted quickly and caught it before it could hit him in the face. “Unlock it. 60568.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update; things have been sooo stressful and I gues this is really sloppy and bad badly written but yeah :/ Hope it was still enjoyable.  
> Stay tight!


	8. [08]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Tony's biggest nightmare comes true, Peter comes up with a self-sacrificing idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Ally <3 I hope you're ok <3 I miss you.

Peter’s fingers were shaking so badly it took him three attempts to enter the correct PIN code. With each sentence he read, the boy felt more awful and sick; no wonder Tony had had to throw up. “F-Fuck, what- what are we supposed to do now?”

“ _We?_ ” Tony snorted, eyes gleaming dangerously. “How does this affect you, specifically?”

“How does- Tony, there’s _my face_ and _my name_ in an article about your new – what was it? Oh, yes, your new _toy boy_!”

“So what? Nobody cares if you’re gay, nobody cares who you kiss. You have _nothing_ to lose, whereas I could lose _everything_.”

Peter was too taken aback to react right away. He gaped at Tony, the scene slowly blurring in front of his eyes. “A-Are you serious right now? Of course it doesn’t affect me as largely as it affects you but I still don’t want everyone to know that I-“

Tony laughed, but there was no kindness to it. “Oh, _come on_. You always wanted our relationship to be official so we wouldn’t have to hide anymore.”

“Not like _this_ , though. You know that I’ve never wanted any attention or to- to be _famous_ or whatever. Yes, it would have been inevitable to tell the public someday, but it would have been our joint decision and it would have been on _our_ conditions. I don’t… I don’t want people to think of me as your… your rebound or toy boy.”

“You should have thought about that before telling your treacherous friends.”

For maybe a second, Peter caught himself getting doubts. After all, MJ had spoken about _sugar daddies_ and _toy boys_ , but… no. It couldn’t be. Never. “Tony, it wasn’t them. They’ve been keeping quiet about me being Spider-Man for almost three years, why would they run to the papers or tell someone else about us being together?”

“Maybe they want to get back at me for treating you badly? To ‘protect’ you from me?”

Pete couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. “I didn’t tell them anything negative about you. Quite the contrary. But maybe…maybe it was S-Steve?”

Tony hesitated for a second, but then he snorted angrily. “It wasn’t Steve, nor was it anyone else from the Avengers. I’d bet my life on it. And since I highly doubt it was May, it leaves only Ned and MJ.”

“What about Pepper?”

“Pepper would never do anything that could reflect negatively on Stark Industries. Besides, the news isn’t necessarily flattering for her either.”

“Then how about one of the neighbors who’s seen us coming and going over the course of the last few weeks? Or maybe-“

“Stop looking for someone else you can blame this on,” Tony roared. “You’re just too goddamn naïve! But you know what? Stay in denial, I don’t care, but rest assured that I will sue you friend’s fucking asses and make sure they’ll have to pay me back for the rest of their fucking lives.“

It hurt to hear Tony talk about MJ and Ned like that, but Peter knew that this time, he couldn’t really blame his boyfriend for freaking out. After all, it was his biggest nightmare coming true. Still, why did he always have to shout so much? “I’m telling you, you’re wrong. But let’s stop fighting over it and think about what we can do about all this.”

“There’s nothing-“

“There is,” Peter sighed, flashing him a weak and sad smile. “I can tell everyone that I have had a crush on you and that you didn’t want to kiss me. I can say that you were surprised and that it just, uhm, looked as if we were actually kissing. Before we do that though, you should probably try to figure out if there are any more pics showing…well, you know. Also, we need to find out what they were told.” _And by whom…_

In an instant, Tony looked less mad. “Y-You would do that?”

“I would. But please keep in mind that we can’t stay together in secret forever. So, if I- if I do this, we might have to take a break and… I don’t know, figure a way out to be together without anyone finding out about it ever again, or it would have all been for nothing.”

* * *

Peter’s idea was as tempting as it was terrifying. Tony knew that the boy would be beyond devastated if he agreed to it but it might be their only chance. _His_ only chance of… of what? Happiness? Most certainly not, since the best thing in Tony’s life wasn’t his fame, his money or even his friends. It was Peter, and no matter how desperately he wished that things were different, they weren’t.

“This is… not an option.”

Blatantly astonished, Peter lifted his head, looking at Tony hopefully. “I-It’s not? Do you have a better idea?”

“Any idea is better than this. I really appreciate the offer, baby, but I don’t want to take a break and I don’t want to humiliate you either.”

“But-“

“No. It’s not an option. Cat’s out of the bag, there’s no need to lie any longer. Don’t think I’ll ever forgive your friends for this, though. They will pay for this, dearly.”

With that, Tony snatched the phone from the teen’s hands and called the law firm working for Stark Industries and the Avengers. Normally, it was Pepper handling these sorts of things, but she was the last person Tony wanted to bother with it.

After a longer discussion, the man eventually went into the bedroom, finding Peter lying flat on the bed, fully clothed. “Remember when I got about two thousand follow requests after we were first seen together?” the teen asked with a sigh. “It’s almost ten times as bad this time and it’s only 8 o’clock. And some people from school have sent me messages, Flash included. Like… can’t they mind their own fucking business?”

“Obviously not,” Tony said grimly. “I talked to two of my lawyers. They suggested doing a press conference but I don’t… think I can do it. I think I’ll just do a written statement again.”

Peter gave him an encouraging smile. “Please don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Are you going to take any… legal actions against TMZ for taking and publishing the pics?”

“Yeah, but don’t get your hopes up. Even if they remove the article from their website, too many other websites have spread the news already and it’s almost impossible to sue every individual who uploads the pictures social media. I… also asked them give their best and find out who their _reliable source_ was.”

Peter looked at him hopefully. “Does this mean you don’t think it was MJ and Ned anymore?”

“I do, but… let’s assume you are right and it wasn’t them, then we need to figure out who it was.”

The boy nodded and got up from the couch with a sigh, glancing at the windows. “You know, maybe we should make sure to always close the curtains from now on.”

“That’s definitely a good idea. Also, I’ve stationed drones all around the building scanning for other drones and stuff.”

“ _Other_ _drones_?”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it past those paparazzi bastards to use camera-equipped drones to sneak more pictures. So I thought it would- Wait, what are you doing?” Peter had moved over to the closet while Tony was speaking and fetched his jacket and backpack.

“Going to college? Duh.”

Tony gaped at him. “You can’t go to _college_.”

“Uhm, why not?”

“Because- _have you forgotten about the article?”_

“No, but it’s only my second day and I can’t miss-“

“Peter, they’re about 50 reporters down there… they will tear you apart.”

“Well, then I’m going to take the car or just swing-“ Peter broke off mid-sentence, looking at Tony in complete horror. “T-Tony, I- Yesterday, I w-went out on patrol… w-what if they saw me swinging over here?”

At first, Tony was tempted to shrug it off because no other Avenger had a secret identity either, but then he saw the panic in Peter’s eyes. Just as coming out as gay was Tony’s biggest nightmare, having his identity revealed was Peter’s. His life as he knew it would be over, and he would never be convinced that Aunt May would be safe. _He had to be there for him_. “I’m sure they haven’t or they-“

“B-But I came back like f-five minutes before we kissed and- those pics… t-they already had to be there. Oh my god I have to- I have to get to May and- and MJ and Ned and- oh my god, what if-“

Tony quickly pulled him into a tight embrace and held him close. Soothingly, he caressed his hair, trying to calm him down. “Baby, if they knew about it, they’d already have posted it. Trust me, this is… more interesting than my sex life. I guess.”

“What if they’re just holding it back for now?”

“Then we can always say that Spider-Man paid us a visit. He’s an Avenger and as you know, everyone knows that he likes to hang out with Iron Man.”

“But isn’t that suspicious? That we have been hanging out and him and Iron Man as well and now we’re suddenly together and-”

“There’s no proof, baby. I doubt you’ve pulled off your mask while still being on the roof, right?”

“N-No…”

“See? And if they still didn’t believe us, then I’m sure we’d be able to persuade a young SHIELD agent with a similar build like you to pose as Spider-Man next to you in your street clothes. We’d figure something out. And even if we couldn’t, then I would do anything in my power to help keep May and… your friends safe.”

Peter sniveled before pulling out of Tony’s hug. He gave him a weak smile before giving him a peck on the lips. “Thank you, Tony. Can I still… please go to college?”

The man sighed, reminding himself that it wasn’t his decision. “It’s not that I could tell you what do, Peter.”

In fact, he had been doing hardly doing anything else for the last two years, but he did say he wanted to become a better person, right? “Just… make sure to take the car and… yeah, if they bother you, I’ll fly down and scare them off.”

Unfortunately, Tony’s concerns turned out to be right. Some reporters were so bold that they blocked the entrance to the garage, refusing to let Peter leave. Tony was able to watch the scene from the penthouse thanks to his drones, and was fuming with rage when the paparazzi gathered around the Spyder, trying to get pics of Peter’s face. Just when Tony wanted to assemble the suit around him, Peter revved up the engine and let the car jump forward a few inches. The reporters yelled at him - some even flipped him the bird – but the teen didn’t let himself get intimidated and did it three more times until they eventually stepped aside.

Tony couldn’t help being proud at his boyfriend, but it pained him that he had had go that far. Peter was an angel, a sweetheart…the purest person in the world. Nobody should be allowed to cast him in a negative light, which would inevitably happen if he stood up for himself against the press. _Tony couldn’t – and wouldn’t - let that happen._

Therefore, Tony hired 10 security guards who were also for SHIELD. Starting tomorrow, they would make sure all residents and visitors could exist and enter the building and garage without getting bothered by any reporters or fans, who started to appear half an hour later, hoping to catch a glimpse of Tony later in the day.

The man didn’t intend to leave the building anytime soon, though. Instead, he lay down on the couch and opened up the article again. Anxious, he scrolled down to the comment section and started to read. It was as bad as he imagined.

  * _“That’s fucking disgusting.”_
  * _“Now that it’s proven that Tony Stark is a pedo*****, I expect the government to take measures and make sure that our children are protected from him!”_
  * _“Daddy kink fics INCOMING.”_
  * _“Guess s*x trafficking is what really got him rich LOL.”_
  * _“Always thought that boy’s a prostitute or working for an escort service or whatever.”_
  * _“What’s the age of consent in New York? Because I’m pretty sure they’ve already been f*cking months ago. Just think about the tight suit the kid wore at the Stark Industries Christmas Gala. Then again, I bet there will never be any investigation about it. Iron Man knows well enough who to bride.”_
  * _“Not surprised. I always knew Stark was a fag, it’s just the way he acts and looks… Thank god I’ve never been a fan of him. Guess they’re all burning their Iron Man merch right now. This is so gross.”_



Eventually, Tony couldn’t take it anymore. Tears of anger and shame clouded his view and he struggled to his feet, stumbling over to the bar. He needed a drink. Or five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Tony is way too aggressive and angry again, but as I said before: that’s how he’s always been in this story. He can’t just stop being choleric without any professional help, but they will briefly discuss it in the next chapter. On another note: If you're also reading the Winterspider AU, you might have noticed that the "Peter has a crush on Tony" lie has recently been mentioned there too. Whereas in Winterspider, Peter was pretty angry about it, he suggested it himself in this ;)


	9. [09]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has a shitty day at college; Tony starts to feel even more guilty about how he's been treating his boyfriend.

Peter was shocked to find out how many of his fellow students seemed vastly interested in Tony Stark’s love life. During his first day at ESU, he had almost been invisible, with only two people approaching him to ask whether he was Tony Stark’s intern. Today, on the other hand, Peter was swamped by student who desperately seemed to want to become his friend.

At first, it wasn’t that bad, but with every minute that passed, more and more news websites ran the story, making sure to publish photos from Peter as well. Photos which had somehow leaked from his private Instagram account or photos which had been taken of him and Tony throughout the last year, showing them sitting next to each other in the hockey stadium, at a restaurant, a theater or hurrying along the red carpet of the Stark Industries Christmas Gala.

Peter cursed himself for thinking it was a good idea to go to college today. He had no idea how to deal with students coming up to him and inquiring about what course he was heading to, if he wanted to join their study group, fraternity or sports team, and if there was any chance that he could maybe, just maybe, help them get an internship at Stark Industries ‘as well’.

Peter tried to stay calm and wriggle his way out of it by mumbling things like “Um, sorry, I gotta go to class” or “I haven’t decided yet on what group/fraternity/sports team I want to join, sorry”, keeping his eyes on the ground most of the times.

Soon enough, the whole ESU campus seemed to know that Tony Stark’s newest ‘plaything’ (as Peter heard a bunch of students whisper) was among them. When the boy left the auditorium after his third lecture, he spotted a vast number of students lurking in the corridor in front of him, some not even trying to hide the fact that they were filming of photographing him.

Tears of embarrassment and anger started to build in the corners of Peter’s eyes and he tried to ignore them while walking along as fast as he could. Was this what his life was going to be from now on? Tony had warned him that this would happen, and yet Peter had not wanted to believe him.

Instead of heading for the canteen, Peter tried to find a somewhat quiet place where he could spend his lunch break at. Unsurprisingly, he eventually ended up at the toilet, where he angrily locked himself into one of the stalls, somewhat relieved that he didn’t have to hide his tears anymore. To pass time, Peter replied to the numerous messages MJ, Ned and May had sent him, saying he would call them later, before texting Tony _“how are you doing?”_

He waited for five minutes but Tony didn’t seem to be near his phone so Peter opened Instagram. His fingers started shaking when he saw that he had now over 300,000 follow requests. _Holy. Shit._ Maybe he should just delete his account and make a new one…

Frustrated, Peter made his way to his next lecture hall half an hour later, elbowing his way through the mob of now mostly giggling people who were standing around stupidly and blocking his way. In the lecture hall, Peter made sure to take a seat in the last row and ignore the stares sent his way every other minute.

Shortly after 2 pm, his last course of the day finished and Peter hurried to get off campus, feeling extremely hungry and exhausted. Unfortunately, someone seemed to have tipped off the tabloids; numerous paparazzi were lurking on the street right outside the campus, rendering it impossible for Peter to get to his car without getting photographed from every conceivable angle. The only reason why Peter managed to resist the strong urge to take out his webshooters and haul himself onto one of the buildings was that he knew he would regret it for the rest of his life if he did it.

Therefore, he kept his head low and ignored all the provoking and somewhat offensive questions the paparazzi threw at him. Fifteen minutes later, he steered the car back into the garage of his apartment building, relieved to see security guards keeping the reporters and fans away from the gateway this time.

Silence met him when he entered the apartment, meaning Tony had either gone to the compound again or was meeting his lawyers. With a sigh, Peter went into the living room, only to freeze as soon as he smelled the booze. The boy let his gaze wander, settling on the spilled bottle of Whiskey of the coffee table and on his boyfriend, lying motionless on the couch.

Overcome with panic, Peter jumped forward and knelt down in front of Tony, grabbing him around the shoulders. “T-Tony?” It took a few seconds but then the man grunted, eyes still closed. “Tony? Can you hear me?”

After receiving another distressed grunt, Peter gave up and took out his phone. His heart was pounding while he was listening to the ringing until finally, May picked up. “Hi, sweetheart, are you all right? I’ve been getting calls from- “

“C-Can this wait, please? I- I need your help May, please, I’ve just come home from college and Tony… He- he has been drinking, I don’t know how much, but he’s passed out of the couch or something and I don’t know if I need to call a doctor.”

“He is _passed out?_ Oh my god… Have you tried waking him up?”

“Of course I have, but he’s just grunting whenever I shake him.”

“Have you felt his pulse?”

“Uhm, no, wait a sec…” When Peter grabbed Tony’s wrist, he realized that the man wore his Iron Man smart watch. “Oh, uhm… nevermind, He’s wearing his watch… it’s connected to FRIDAY and it would alert me and Rhodey if his health was in any critical condition.” Just to make sure, Peter took a close look at the display. “Yeah, uhm, his pulse is a little out of place I think but it’s nothing too worrisome.”

“Are you sure? Do you want me to come over and take a look at him?”

“That’s very sweet Aunt May, but… I think it’s better if you don’t come over. There’s so many reporters here, I-“ Before Peter knew it, he was sobbing, sitting down on the floor between the coffee table and the couch. “I have had a really shitty day.”

He told May about the article and some comments he had seen, about the people harassing him and about Tony accusing MJ and Ned. Although May eventually started to cry too, she listened calmly and soothed him as best as she could. It was obvious that she didn’t approve of Tony’s behavior at all, but she tried to withhold from speaking too badly of him.

After he had poured out his heart for half an hour, Peter tried to wake Tony up again. This time, he was more successful; Tony opened his eyes and mumbled something that sounded like “How late is it” before _retching_. Peter had barely managed to get him into an upright position before Tony already threw up on the floor.

Although it was outright disgusting, Peter stayed where he was, making sure to hold Tony upright until it was over. For the first time in his life, the teenager then lifted the older man up and carried him over to the bedroom, where he carefully laid him down onto the mattress, wrapped the blanket around him and tugged him in. “I will get you a glass of water and a bowl in case you need to… you know.”

He didn’t think Tony had heard him, but when he was almost out the door. his boyfriend croaked out a weak “Thank you” and started snoring.

* * *

When Tony woke up, his head felt as if it was about to burst. Vaguely, he remembered throwing up in the living room and Peter carrying him into the bed. God, how much had he drunk? How late was it?

A glance at his watch told him it was only 4 am but he really, _really_ needed to pee. With a groan, Tony got up and staggered into the master bathroom, careful not to stumble; the floor and the walls seemed to be spinning. Shit.

Back in the bedroom, he noticed that Peter was awake, squinting against the light coming from the open bathroom door. “Are you okay?” he mumbled tiredly.

“Yeah, uhm, it’s fine, go back to sleep, baby.”

There was sadness and anger in the boy’s eyes when he rolled around, turning his back on Tony. He seemed pissed, but if what Tony remembered about yesterday was true, then he had every right to be. Since Tony wasn’t really tired anymore, he went into the living room and let Peter his well-deserved rest.

The unmistakable stench of alcohol was still filling the air, causing Tony to feel nauseated again immediately. He quickly opened one of the windows and breathed in the cool, fresh air, hoping it would help clear the fog in his mind. When he eventually felt better, he fetched his phone from the coffee table to check a few shitty celebrity websites, tempted to scream when he saw a bunch of paparazzi pictures featuring Peter on almost every site he looked. They didn’t just publish those that had been taken when he had tried to leave the parking garage; they had apparently caught him on his way off campus too. The look on Peter’s face…. Tony’s heart clenched. His baby boy looked so _scared_ and _broken._

The urge to throw up again got stronger, which is why the man decided to take a look at a more serious website instead. It turned out to be a bad idea as well, considering the first headline Tony saw was about the dramatic drop of the Stark Industries stock. The report tried to explain the drop with “rumors about Tony Stark possibly engaging in a relationship with a minor” but Tony knew that the real reason was that now everyone thought – _knew -_ he was gay.

However, according to messages and emails from Pepper and his lawyers, people were actually worried that the relationship between him and Peter had been going on for longer despite there being no proof about it whatsoever, and advised him to make a statement.

Before Tony could ponder about it for long, another email from his lawyers caught his attention. They found out who tipped the tabloids off and Tony was shocked to see that Peter had been right. It hadn’t been one of his friends, but the moving firm he had hired. According to their source, they had heard Tony speaking about Peter and had even made a short recording of him saying _“We love who we love and… Consider what I gave up for him. I left Pepper because I couldn’t deny my feelings anymore and I left my home and my friends to be closer to him”_ as well as _“_ _I don’t want Peter to hear us talking about him. He has good ears, you know”._

So that’s what that noise had been… It hadn’t been Peter eavesdropping on them but those fucking bastards from the moving firm. Tony felt so unbelievably stupid and ashamed. He had to make it up to him...

At 7:30 am, half an hour before Peter’s alarm would ring, the man went back into the bedroom, laid down, and snuggled up to his boyfriend from behind. Although Peter stirred, it took him a few more moments to wake up. “Peter, baby… I am so sorry for yesterday.”

“Mmh. It’s fine but… you scared me, Tony. I mean, I’ve seen you drunk before but never like _this._ Please don’t ever do that again.”

“I won’t, don’t worry. I didn’t intend to drink so much.”

“Then why did you?”

“I just… it was too much, all those comments I read… I promise it won’t happen again, all right? But there’s something else I have to apologize to you… You were right, baby boy. A-About your friends, they- it wasn’t them who ratted us out.”

In an instant, Peter was wide awake. He rolled around and gaped at Tony. “Who was it?”

 _He_ was _so precious_. Instead of being resent- of spiteful, Peter seemed rather concerned and almost _sympathetic_. Tony didn’t deserve him. “The guys from the moving firm. They heard me and May talking about you.” He quickly told Peter what happened before apologizing again. “I am _so_ sorry, baby. It was all my fault. I know I should have asked Stark Industries employers to help us with the moving but I didn’t want to risk them gossiping… guess that backfired pretty badly, didn’t it?”

“It wasn’t your _fault_ , Tony. You couldn’t have known that,” Peter whispered, proofing once more how fucking perfect he was. “I am sorry this happened, I really am, and… there’s no shame in being wrong, but…” The teen glanced at Tony anxiously.

“What, baby boy?” 

“Well… Although I wished you would have trusted me about it, I don’t blame you for thinking it was Ned or MJ. I _don’t_ , but… I wished you wouldn’t have shouted at me so much, especially because you didn’t even have proof.”

To Tony’s own surprise, Peter’s statement made him feel more ashamed than angry. “I- I know, I am sorry. I don’t know why I always get… angry so fast, I really didn’t mean to shout at you. I promise it won’t happen again, baby boy. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After my first brainstorming about this Alternative Ending, it was supposed to be 9 chapters. Guess it’s going to be more now lol. I kinda have feeling that nothing has happened yet?! I still kinda enjoy writing it even if it might be a little boring, so big thank you to everyone who is still with me at this point <3


	10. [10]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony struggle to find normalcy in their relationship.

Tony was shocked when Peter told him about his fellow students harassing him the day before. It made him feel like shit to know that he hadn’t been there for him and had instead thrown up all over the floor, forcing his angel to clean up his mess and the whiskey Tony had spilled.

“I am very grateful you cleaned all of that, baby boy, but I have already hired a cleaning company to come over twice a week. You can give them a call whenever you need, all right?”

“And risk reading about it the next day in the papers? No thanks.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, baby. They have been cleaning for Stark Industries, the old Avengers tower and the compound for ages.”

“Tony, I won’t call someone to clean up booze and vomit. Also… I mean, you said it would never happen again, so… there’s no need for it, right? I don’t even think we need them to come over twice a week anyway… it’s not _that_ much work, so maybe it would be enough if they came over once a month to clean the windows and stuff?”

Tony ignored him, knowing there was no sense discussing this. Soon enough, Peter would be used to dating a billionaire and paying others to do all the annoying work. “I still want to make it up to you, baby.”

“How?”

Tony smiled affectionately. “How about we adopt a pair of kitties?”

Peter gaped at him; he had been daydreaming about getting a pet for years. “A-Are you… serious?”

“One-hundred percent. Is that a yes?”

“Oh my- _Yes,_ oh my god, Tony, I- C-Can we get them today?”

Tony laughed, gently kissing Peter’s forehead. “Don’t you think we should look up what we need at first? Also… I want to coordinate a statement with you today, if that’s all right with you.”

Although Peter had started shaking with excitement, hearing about the statement seemed to bring him back down to earth. Tony told him about his plan to record a short video instead of publishing a written statement (hoping it would make people believe him me more easily) and Peter offered to help him record it.

“I don’t want go to college anyway… You were right, I should have waited until the fuss died down a little bit. I’ll just send my professors an email and tell them I’m sick.”

“Do you want me to give the principal a call? There are ways to make sure nobody will be harassing you on campus anymore. They have to provide for your safety, after all, and I can also hire security guards to accompany you.”

As expected, Peter kindly declined. “Thank you, I really appreciate it but I’ll just give it a few days and… yeah. I’ll be fine. It’s not like I couldn’t defend myself if I needed to, but… If it’s still not better in a week then… I guess I’ll just talk to the principle myself?”

“Sure, whatever you want, baby boy.”

An hour later, Tony and Peter had coordinated the statement. Dressed casually in a white longsleeve, Tony sat down at the table opposite from Peter, who was equipped with small tripod and Tony’s phone. The man took a deep breath before addressing the public.

“Uhm, hey, everyone. Although I feel very protective of my private life, I feel the need to comment on recent reports and rumors regarding the relationship to my intern Peter Parker.” Tony took a short break to gather his courage, knowing Peter would be able to cut it out later.

“ _Some_ of the rumors are true. I have recently discovered my interest in men, which is why Mrs. Potts and I broke up. Mr. Parker started as an intern at Stark Industries three years ago, but we barely interacted until his seventeenth birthday when I went out to have brunch with him. Since Peter is an outstandingly gifted young man, I started to personally mentor him and we became friends. However, I have never seen him as anything other than a mentee or friend until a year later. I know some of you won’t believe it, but from a legal aspect, it doesn’t make any difference if he was 17 or 18. Therefore, I have no reason to lie. Peter is attending college in Manhattan, so I’ve decided to leave the Avenger’s compound and move in with him to see him more often. This is all I have to say. There will be no more statements and I kindly ask you to respect our privacy. I won’t tolerate anyone harassing him. Thank you.”

* * *

For the next three days, Tony and Peter didn’t leave the penthouse at all. They ordered food and groceries and passed the time by watching movies, talking or having sex. In addition, Peter was busy studying and doing things for college despite not attending. Gladly, the professors had been understanding about his sick note and offered he could send in assignments if he felt ‘healthy enough’, no doubt assuming that Peter wasn’t really sick.

Tony’s statement, however, had barely helped. The tabloids were still running story after story about the unmoral relationship between them, leading to many people spreading hate about them wherever and whenever they could. It got even worse when an alleged employee of Stark Industries gave an anonymous interview about Peter’s internship and blurted out that the teenager had only been at the company twice in three years.

When the DailyBugle even released an illegal copy of working time records from the company, Tony had ten people fired and told Pepper to issue a statement about Peter not being obliged to clock in and out. The damage, however, was done; some people took it as proof that Peter had never really been an intern but Tony’s ‘boy toy’ all along despite him being underage, causing the Stark Industries stock to drop once more.

In a desperate moment, Peter offered Tony to tell everyone about him being Spider-Man after all, but to his relief, the older man refused. “That would only explain why we made up your internship. It wouldn’t prove that we hadn’t been dating when you were still underage. I just fucking hate all of this.”

Peter was convinced that if he hadn’t been with Tony throughout these days and distracted him with sex and movies, he would have broken his promise and gotten wasted again.

On Saturday, Peter tried to persuade Tony to go outside for the first time since Sunday and drive to the animal shelter with him. “Please, Tony… I already know that I won’t be able to choose if I go alone.”

With a sigh, the man eventually agreed. Thanks to the security guards, nobody impeded them when they drove out of the garage, and to Peter’s relief, Tony even hummed along to a bad song playing on the radio.

The employees at the animal shelter were star-struck when they saw who was coming into the shelter, interesting in adopting a pair of cats. Two antsy young women offered to show Peter and Tony around and answer all their questions. “Oh my god they are all so cute,” Peter sighed, looking vastly overwhelmed, “I want to adopt all of them.”

“Dear god,” Tony chuckled, wrapping his arms around him from behind. Some of the other visitors to the center stared, but the men ignored them. “I am sorry, Pete, but two are enough. What about the two white kittens over there at the window?”

“I mean, they are really cute but… don’t you think they will end up finding a new owner soon enough anyway? I was thinking… the ones we saw earlier… how about we get them?”

“You mean the five-year-old with the missing tail and the eight-year-old that only has three legs?”

“Yeah.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Tony chuckled. “Look… I get it, okay. But I thought we agreed on getting kittens so we could… raise them from the start, kinda...like… _you know_.”

Peter felt conflicted. He understood Tony’s point of view and if he was honest, he’d rather have young cats as well, but now that he knew about the disabled ones, he couldn’t help feeling sorry for them. However, Tony then made a very generous offer that made Peter’s decision easier. He promised to donate a million dollars to the shelter and build a big animal sanctuary over at the compound or anywhere else, where they could take care of and help disabled animals nobody wanted. “They will have plenty of space there and you can visit them any time and pet them for as long as you want. If those two still haven't found an owner when it's finished, they'll be the first ones we adopt.”

“This is really... this is so sweet of you,” Peter mumbled, barely able to withstand the urge to kiss him in front of everyone.

Half an hour later, Peter and Tony made a move to leave the shelter with their new family members, each man carrying a box. However, when they spotted the large crowd of reporters and fans waiting outside, they halted. “Have you called them?” Tony snapped at the employees, who quickly shake their heads. “N-No, of course not. I am sorry, Mr. Stark, we will call the police and-“

“There’s no need for that,” Tony growled, bracing himself.

“Just smile and show them you don’t give a shit,” Peter whispered and marched forward, holding onto the box with his cat tightly. They both ignored the questions thrown at them and struggled to get through the mob of people. Not caring about the ticket for parking in a no-standing area jammed behind the windshield wiper, they squeezed themselves into the narrow sports-car with the two boxes and sped off.

For the next couple of days, Peter and Tony spent almost every single moment playing or cuddling with Lou and Marie. For the first time in weeks, Tony finally seemed happy again, which is why Peter felt it was safe enough to return back to college on Wednesday.

There was still some students following him around or mocking him openly, but with every day that passed, it declined in frequency. After a while, Peter didn’t care too much anymore, although he often felt lonely and a little depressed about having no friends on campus. It wasn’t like there weren’t a bunch of people who wanted to befriend him; quite the opposite. But… first of all, Peter had always had social anxiety and didn’t feel comfortable being the center of attention. And secondly, he was convinced they only wanted to be friends with him because of his relationship with Tony, which wasn’t exactly flattering.

After two weeks, Tony became sulkier and more miserable again. Although he kept to his promise of not getting completely wasted, Peter smelled booze on him almost every day when he came home from college. When Peter asked him to stop drinking altogether, Tony reacted indignantly. “A glass of whiskey or a beer won’t hurt anyone. I’m bored, okay? You’re gone all day and I’m stuck here with nothing to do.”

“We have two cats now, you can-“

“Do what? They sleep most of the day and they aren’t exactly talkative, you know?”

If Tony left the penthouse at all, it was to fly over to the compound to work in the lab or hang out with Bruce or Rhodey. Sometimes, he didn’t get back until way past midnight, making a face as if he had rather stayed there and spent the night. It made Peter quite upset, but Tony reaffirmed that he didn’t enjoy the compound more than their home.

Peter had a hard time believing him. “Sorry, but… you hardly ever want to spend time with me.”

“Me? You’re the one who’s hardly home.”

“I go to _college_ , Tony… and one day, I’ll have a job and be gone for forty hours a week, at least.”

“You know well enough that you wouldn’t need to work full time – or at all - considering I earn more money in a day without doing anything than you would earn in a year.”

“Well, good for you,” Peter said through clenched teeth. “I _want_ to have a job someday though. I have no intention of sitting on my ass all day, and besides, it’s _your_ money, not mine.”

“Are you calling me lazy?”

“No, Tony. You’ve worked your ass off for so many years and with all the Iron Man and Avenger stuff… You deserve to take it easy and enjoy life. But _enjoy_ it, please. Let’s go out and have dinner, or… let’s see a movie sometime.”

“To have people come up to me and call me a pedophile? Thanks, but no thanks.”

The only times Peter and Tony went out with each other was to visit the compound for the weekly Avengers dinner. However, Tony found fault with that as well. Once, he complained to Peter as soon as they were back home that it was awkward being there as a couple and that his friends didn’t treat him like they did when he was there on his own.

“Fine. I’ll just stay home next time and hang out with May or MJ, then.”

“Don’t be stupid, I didn’t mean it like that. Also, you’re already hanging out with them three times a week anyway, leaving me sitting here all by myself.”

Peter wanted to scream; he still loved Tony with all his heart, but whatever he did, it seemed to be wrong. “What do you want me to do, Tony? Please, tell me, because I have no idea what I can do to make you happy. I am trying so hard, but- but-“

He broke into tears, and to his biggest relief, his boyfriend immediately rushed over and wrapped him into a tight embrace, kissing his temple. “Ssh, it’s all right. I’m sorry, baby boy, I just… it’s harder than I thought, dealing with everyone knowing about us. Please don’t cry, okay?”

“I’m just afraid of coming home one day and seeing that you’re gone.”

“I won’t do that. I love you and I want to be with you.”

“Then… can we please try to… be more like an actual couple? That was the whole point of telling everyone, wasn’t it?”

Tony seemed to fight an inward battle, but eventually, he sighed and kissed Peter’s temple again. “All right. I’ll try to jump over my shadow and take you out at least once a week, okay?”

“Really?” Sniveling, Peter looked up.

“Really.”

As it turned out, going out on dates worked better than Tony had feared. Yes, fans and paparazzi still seemed to appear wherever they went, but hardly anyone ever said anything insulting in front of them and Tony gained new confidence. Even the negative comments on Social Media started to become less and the Stark Industries stock eventually went up again.

Therefore, Peter’s and Tony’s relationship finally started to work out and before they knew it, they had been living together for three months.

A few days before Thanksgiving, Peter and MJ reunited with Ned, who had come home for the holiday. MJ insisted that both boys accompany her to a NYU college party where she intended to introduce them to a guy she had recently started dating. “With Ned’s being there too, you have no more excuses to not come to a party with me,” MJ grinned, looking at Peter triumphantly.

“Have you never gone to a college party?” Ned seemed aghast.

“Man, I can’t even go out to eat anymore without everyone staring at me or sneaking a picture of me spilling soda all over my shirt.”

“Is it even that bad when Tony’s not with you?”

“No, when he’s with me it’s worse, obviously, but it’s easier to endure when the person next to you is the main center of attention. When we’re out together, we even manage to ignore them most of the times now, but… Tony is quite intimidating, so most fans or paparazzi don’t really have the guts to straightforward aggravate or provoke him too much.”

“I get that though, I mean… he’s fucking Iron Man.”

“Does this mean you’re staying home again?” MJ asked, disappointed.

“No, he won’t, right?” Ned looked at Peter encouragingly. With a deep-drawn sigh, the boy eventually pulled himself together. “All right. I’ll… come with you.”

Why did he have a feeling he would regret giving in?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all the "slow-burn", expect some more "action" in the next chapter(s). I'm kinda hoping to be able to wrap this up in two to three more chapters (even if it means making them a little bit longer, just like this one), let's see if that works out ;)  
> Also, since AO3 is making changes with the server and IP address, I and others haven't received any mails lately. Would be sweet if you told me if you've gotten a notification about the update <3


	11. [11]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's first college party comes with surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there's a brief scene in this chapter that featuring non-physical sexual harassment.

Peter had a bad feeling when they arrived at the frat house the party was taking place. There were a lot of people, most of them already slightly drunk. As soon as they stepped through the door, MJ hurried off to look for Mike, her ‘we’ve-just-started-dating’-date.

“Is it just me or do most of them look a little… snobbish?” Ned asked, letting his eyes roam through the crowded room.

Peter shrugged his shoulders, feeling anxious. It was good that Ned was with him or he would have turned around on the spot and walked straight out the door again. To his relief, MJ returned a few minutes later, pulling a sympathetic looking guy after her. “Pete, Ned… this is Mike.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Mike grinned, nudging them on the shoulder playfully. “Happy to finally meet you. Let’s get you some beer, shall we?”

Since Peter thought it would be hypocritical to ask Tony to stop drinking only to do it himself the first chance he got, he refused. “I- I’m good, thanks.”

MJ raised her right eyebrow. “You do know this is a college party where almost everyone is under twenty-one, right?”

“It’s not… about that,” Peter groaned, “it’s just… I don’t want anything.”

“Fine. But don’t complain when you’re the only one sober later,” MJ grinned, bumping her plastic cup against Mike’s and taking the first sip.

“I can stay sober with you, I’m not much of a drinker anyway,” Ned offered, but Peter shook his head. “It’s fine, drink how much you want. I don’t care if I’m the only one who’s sober.”

“You sure? Okay, I’ll have a beer, then.”

After Ned had filled his cup, he quietly asked Peter how things were going with Tony. “Last week you said it was going really well?”

“Yeah. He’s trying to do his best to make me happy and we hardly ever fight anymore.”

“Hardly ever?”

“Well… Nothing too serious. To be honest…” - Peter lowered his voice even more - “He has never really been easy because he can be quite… well… hotheaded at times, but if I compare it to the months and years – I m-mean, _year_ – before that, then he has really come far.”

“U-huh, _year_ , yeah, yeah,” Ned snorted knowingly. “You know, apart from you guys lying to the public, me and MJ are convinced that you’ve been lying to us too.”

“Ssh,” Peter hushed, looking around panicky. Thankfully though, nobody was paying them any attention. “If anyone hears you saying things like that, then-“

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just want you to know that I wouldn’t care about... _that._ As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“Thanks.” Peter quickly changed topics, asking Ned about his classes and the girl he had been thirsting over for the last couple of weeks. Halfway through Ned’s report, Peter noticed that some people had started staring at him after all. The music was too loud for Peter to hear what they were talking about, but when some outright pointed him out for their friends, he had proof enough anyway. Great.

When Peter saw a group of girls taking out their phones, no doubt trying to sneak a picture of him, he started to feel a little uneasy. “Uhm…,” Peter interrupted Ned’s flood of words, “Sorry, but c-can you excuse me for a second? I kinda… have to pee.”

“Sure, holy shit, I’ve been gabbling, haven’t I?”

“No, it’s fine, I love hearing about all of this MIT stuff. I’ll be back in a minute.” Glad to get out of the room, Peter hurried straight for the front door, not even bothering to look for his jacket.

Although it was a rather cold November night, a lot of students were hanging around the front yard, smoking cigarettes. Peter moved a few steps away from them over to a large tree, relieved about escaping the stuffy room and being able to breathe in fresh air again. For some reason, he suddenly missed Tony very much, wishing he’d stayed home and watched a movie with him or something. Just when Peter had started to fumble his phone out of his pocket to call him, three tall and bulky guys approached him.

“Aren’t you Stark’s little bitch?”

Peter froze. They were blatantly drunk and although Peter knew that he would physically be able to take them out with ease, he seemed incapable of doing anything when they came dangerously close, forcing him back against the tree.

“Oh my god, you are. Hey, we’ve been wondering, are you whoring yourself out to the other Avenger’s as well or is your butt reserved for Stark only?”

“Bet he wants you calling him daddy, huh?”

Peter had started shaking and he found it hard to breathe. He didn’t know why he was scared, but he hadn’t gotten cornered like that in a long time. Not when he hadn’t been wearing his mask, at least.

“You gotta be real good at sucking dick if he left his hot girlfriend for a scrawny midget like you.”

“Makes we wonder if we should put your skills to a test.”

“F-Fuck off,” Peter eventually managed to choke out, causing them to laugh out loud.

“You got a loose tongue there, princess,” the one standing right in front of Peter scolded, grinning stupidly. “Guess we should really find a way to shut you up, huh?”

“Back the fuck off, will you?” someone Peter couldn’t see yelled, causing the three taller men to turn around. When they shifted, the boy managed to get a glimpse of his savior, and his mouth fell open in surprise.

“Osborn…” the guy wearing the football jacked snorted. “Another faggot with daddy issues. Hey, maybe Parker lets you have a shot with Stark if you give him your dad’s numb-“

He groaned when Harry’s fist connected with his chin. When the other two made a move to attack, Peter finally snapped out of his shocked state. He quickly rushed to Harry’s aid and pulled the first guy away from him with ease. “What the-“

He didn’t know what hit him when Peter gave him a shove strong enough to send him down on his ass. Meanwhile, some of the other students had realized what’s going on and came to stand between Harry and the other two. The guy Peter had shoved struggled to his feet, calling over to his friends to get going. “You’ll regret this, bitch,” Spitting at Peter’s feet, he stormed off furiously.

“Are you okay?” Harry rushed over, looking concerned.

“Y-Yeah, uhm… I don’t know why I stood there like an idiot, thank you so much for helping me.”

“No problem at all. Long time no see… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a NYU frat party before.”

“Well… it’s uhm, my first college party, so…” Peter glanced at the other students staring at him from behind Harry’s back and shivered, both from the cold and discomfort.

“Nice to see you again, though. Want to head back inside and catch up?”

“I would love to, but… I think I’ll just get my jacket and go home.”

When Harry followed Peter’s gaze to the other students staring at them, realization dawned on him. “We can also just… go somewhere else if you want.”

“What do you mean?” _He didn’t mean… did he?_

“There’s a nice, somewhat noble and discreet bar and restaurant a few minutes away from here. But I understand if you’re not in the mood to hang out after these dicks, uhm, harassed you. They go to NYU with me and honestly, they’re losers.”

It would be nice to catch up with Harry – after all, they had texted quite a bit after the Christmas Gala last year and if Peter hadn’t started feeling guilty when Harry’s texts got somewhat flirty, they might have even become good friends. However, Peter didn’t want to give him a wrong impression and the urge to just go home and snuggle up to Tony was strong too-

“Hey, you know what, never mind. We can catch up another time, sorry, I guess that was a little… inconsiderate of me,” Harry smiled when Peter didn’t answer, looking a little embarrassed.

“No, I- I was just thinking… This would be as… friends only, right?”

“What?” For a second, Harry looked confused, but then he got it. “Oh! Yeah, sure, I know you’re with Mr. Stark now. I mean, if you weren’t, then- I mean… y-yeah, as friends, only.”

Peter couldn’t help it; he grinned a little, feeling flattered that Harry still seemed somewhat interested in him. “Great, I’ll just hop in for a sec to say goodbye to my friends and grab my jacket.”

* * *

Tony was already asleep when Peter came home, only waking up briefly when the younger man lay down next to him. “How late is it?” He murmured sleepily.

“Uhm… 3:15. Sorry, go back to sleep. Love you.” Tony smiled when Peter gave him a quick peck on the lips, and a second later, he was already fast asleep again.

Hours later, Tony was the first to wake up. Seeing that Peter was in no way ready to get up yet, the man decided to let him sleep. Carefully, he climbed out of bed and exited the bedroom, only just able to prevent Lou and Marie from slipping through the gap in the open door. Shaking his head amusedly, he fed them and flung himself onto the sofa with a freshly brewed coffee and his phone.

It was a weird gut feeling that made Tony open TMZ, a website he had been avoiding for quite some time now. As soon as the site had loaded in, Tony almost dropped his mug. There were photos… photos of Peter and some guy – no, not _some guy… Harry fucking Osborn –_ standing in front of a taxi, _hugging_ and-

A rage of fury seized hold of Tony like it had never before. His baby boy was beaming as he got hugged and _kissed on the cheek_ by Harry, his dirty hand touching Peter’s bottom. With trembling fingers, Tony clicked on the mocking headline (“ _Starker: over and out? Iron Man’s boy toy caught on a date with billionaire Harry Osborn (20)”)_ , but the article didn’t include a lot of information, other than catching both of them heading out of an expensive restaurant at 2:30 am and suggestively saying goodbye before hopping into (separate) taxis.

In a matter of seconds, Tony was back in the bedroom, smashing the door open with such force that it hit the adjusting wall. “Are you fucking cheating on me?” he yelled at Peter, who woke up with a shriek, looking confused and alarmed. “W-What?”

“I asked if you were cheating on me.” Tony growled, barely able to resist grabbing Peter’s arm to yank him out of bed. _Don’t be violent._

“Why would I- No, Tony, of course not, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“I saw pictures. Of you and _Harry Osborn.”_

“Wait, what pictures? From yesterday?” When Tony only snorted like an angry bull, Peter slowly struggled to get up, rubbing his tired eyes. “I don’t know what pictures you’re talking about, but…oh my god, I’m not cheating on you, of course not.”

“And what is this?” Tony hold his phone out to him, making sure the pictures are on full display.

“Okay… I admit, it looks a little bad from his angle, but it was just a hug and a kiss on the cheek.”

“HE HAS HIS HAND ON YOUR BUTT!” Tony screamed so loudly Peter winced.

“Can you please stop shouting at me? I already admitted that it looks bad, but _nothing happened,_ Tony. We’re just friends, and-“

“Oh yeah?! Since when? You’ve never spoken of him before! Or have you secretly been dating him behind my back ever since the Christmas Gala?”

Peter sighed, long and deep. “Tony… this is actually pretty insulting and hurtful. I’m going to say it one more time - _Nothing. happened._ It’s the first time I’ve seen him since last December. Please… I need you to stop shouting and tell me you believe me or I’ll… I don’t know, but I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Tony fought an inward battle; he _wanted_ to believe Peter with all his heart, but he knew what lengths some people went to cover up their lies. After all, he had done it himself for so many years…

“Let’s say I believe you… Why did you lie to me, then? Why did you tell me you were going to a college party?”

“I _did_ go to the college party and it was awful. Harry… he saved me from some guys who were giving me shit and then we went to grab something to eat and to catch up in peace. After all, we did get along well at the Christmas Gala, but I had different things on my mind that evening, if you recall. I admit we texted a little bit after that and before you ask, yes, he started flirting with me since he didn’t know that I had a boyfriend, but I broke off contact immediately when that happened. Yesterday, he wasn’t flirty at all, not once. I made sure he knew it was just us going out as _friends.”_

Tony had been listening closely, and although he hated himself for it, he couldn’t stop being wary. Why was it so hard for him to jump over his shadow and trust Peter? “Why didn’t you text me and tell me about it? Don’t lie and say because it’s been too late; it says in the article that you’ve been at the restaurant for more than four hours.”

Raising his eyebrows, Peter looked at him in disbelief. “I thought about it but then decided to tell you about it today, in person. I didn’t expect there to be paparazzi.”

“You should’ve known better. Now, they’ve been talking shit about us – about _you –_ again. Harry’s the son of my biggest rival and the second richest person in New York, Peter. You know what that looks like to the public?”

“I don’t fucking care about the public anymore. Let them think what they think. They will never stop stalking us and making up lies. I’m sorry that you got dragged into this, but… even if I had told you, they would have still posted the pictures and made up some bullshit story with it. I won’t stop hugging people just because those nasty paparazzi don’t have anything better to do. Look… Tony, I’m sorry. I really hope you believe me, but if not, my phone is on the nightstand. You’re free too look at every message I’ve ever written to Harry or anyone else, if you want. I don’t care. I have nothing to hide.”

Even though it was really tempting to agree and look through the phone, Tony knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. It would show that he didn’t trust Peter one bit despite his baby boy never doing anything wrong so far… Not like Tony had.

 _Tony was the problem._ Not Peter. Peter had never lied or cheated. _Tony had._

Suddenly, the man felt more horrible than ever before. Tears started to build in the corners of his eyes when he looked at his disappointed, hurt boyfriend. “It’s fine, baby… I trust you. I’m sorry that I yelled, I- I didn’t… _Fuck_.”

Trying to hold back the tears with all his might, Tony sat at down on the bed, hiding his face behind his hands. “I don’t know why I always get like this. It’s just… the thought of losing you… I can’t take it.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” Peter whispered, sitting down next to him. “I love you so much, Tony, and nothing will ever change that. But… we talked about this before. You need to stop getting so aggressive all the time and… you really need to get over your jealousy issues.”

Tony’s head snapped up, face distorted in anger once more. “ _Jealousy issues?”_

“You’re doing it again.”

“What am I doing again?”

“Getting angry.”

“You said I have jealousy issues.”

Peter chuckled quietly. “Come on, babe… you’ve always gotten mad when I mentioned any other guy that wasn’t Ned. And…remember that fuck-marry-kill game from two years ago?”

“Uhm… yeah, but it was _two years ago_ and I- I’ve changed, okay? I know I exaggerated back then, I even apologized for it.”

“Yes, you changed, but there are other ways to handle it. I understand those pictures confused you, especially because you didn’t know we’ve been out, but you could have asked me calmly. You know how often I’ve had my doubts about you and Pepper, and while I got upset over that quite a bit, I never shouted at you.”

Tony’s stomach clenched when Peter casually dropped Pepper’s name. _He still didn’t know. And he never could. He would not be able to forgive him…_ “Y-Yeah. You’re right, please… I’m sorry, baby boy. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“You already promised me that, babe. Just like you promised you wouldn’t drink anymore, and yet you do. I know it’s not easy to… break habits, so… have you ever thought about… you know, talking to a professional about it?”

Another wave of anger threatened to overcome the older man, and as he struggled to contain it, he realized that young, sweet Peter had a point. And yet- “I don’t know how that could help me.”

Peter took his hand, smiling encouragingly. “Everyone feels like that at first, but trust me, they can do wonders. I’ve been seeing someone after my parents and after Ben died, and it helped me tremendously. I’m sure we can find someone you can trust and feel comfortable talking to. I can go with you, if you want, at least for the first appointment.”

“Peter… I don’t know, I-“

“Please. Give it a try, at least. For me… for _us_.”

Tony still had his doubts when he eventually agreed. However, when Peter told him about the party a while later, making Tony feel like the biggest douchebag on the whole fucking planet for yelling at him after he’d been – more or less - sexually harassed by a bunch of disgusting fuckheads, the man swore himself to do everything in his power to become a better man.

Even though Tony knew he would never deserve Peter, he felt like he owed him that much at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After doing Harry so dirty in the main story, I wanted to give him a cameo in this ;)


	12. [12]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Peter finds out what Tony has desperately tried to keep from him, his world shatters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you all want the Winterspider update buuuuut I want to finish this as well <3

To Tony’s greatest surprise, his first therapy session wasn’t all that bad. In fact, he quite… liked it. It felt good being able to talk to someone and although he hadn’t thought it possible, Mrs. Mandler knew just the right questions to ask.

When both Mrs. Mandler and Peter argued that one single session wouldn’t help him in the long run, Tony decided to arrange another appointment that he attended alone. At first, he was worried he would feel uncomfortable without Peter accompanying him, but then he realized how… _liberating_ it felt to talk about their relationship without Peter being present and without having to be afraid that he got hurt by anything Tony said.

Eventually, Tony ended up going to therapy twice a week. He talked about his fear of disappointing and losing Peter someday because of his behavior, and twice, he even burst into tears. Somehow, Mrs. Mandler slowly managed to still his fears, and Tony wished he could tell her other things as well; like having had sex with Peter when he’d been underage. However, despite knowing that Mrs. Mandler was required to maintain confidentiality about everything he said to her, he couldn’t bring himself to it.

In December, Tony eventually came clear about the only other secret that burdened him.

It came up when Mrs. Mandler suggested that Tony and Peter could try attending an official event as a couple and show everyone how happy they were. “I’m not saying you should make your private life more public, but you shouldn’t feel like hiding either.”

“Neither Peter, nor me have ever been going-to-event-kind-of-people. Also, it would probably spark more hate again.”

“It might, but in the long run, it would convince the public that you’re feeling well. And it would be a sign for Peter that you’re not ashamed of your relationship.”

Tony had his doubts, but eventually concluded that he had nothing to lose. “What kind of event are you thinking of?”

“Anything you feel comfortable going to. How about you attend the Stark Industries Christmas Gala with him again?”

“Um… my ex will be there though, so… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? I think you said everything was good between you and Mrs. Potts?”

“Yeah, I mean… I haven’t talked to her in a while, but attending with Peter while she’s there as well… it’s kind of weird.”

However, he couldn’t fool Mrs. Mandler. He never could. Sometimes, he had the feeling the woman could read minds. When she inquired about it, Tony eventually told her part of the truth. “To be honest… Peter and I started dating a few months before he turned eighteen. While I was… still seeing Pepper.”

Mrs. Mandler smiled sadly, looking as if she knew it was only the half-truth. “I admit, I had a feeling… Does Peter know?”

“…No… he doesn’t. She doesn’t either. And it’s killing me, but I can’t tell him. He wouldn’t understand…”

“Probably not, but he might forgive you. Honesty is the best policy, and the most important thing in a relationship. Next to trust.”

“That’s exactly why I can’t tell him. He would never be able to trust me again… I _told_ him Pep and me were broken up, like a million times. I _promised_ him that I was telling the truth. When… word got out about her abortion, he asked me again, and although I’d finally come out, I still couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I can’t do it. I blew it.”

“I know this isn’t easy, Mr. Stark, and I can’t promise that Peter will forgive you, but one day, the truth might – or even, will - come out, and it’s going to make it so much worse.”

“I can’t tell him. I even… gosh, I even blocked Pepper’s contact on his phone so he wouldn’t be able to call or text her. I _manipulated_ and lied to him, for y-months. You see… I never intended to come out and make it official. I was hoping that Peter would eventually agree to keep our relationship a secret and… I mean, I would have probably broken up with Pepper at some point, but… I don’t know. I deeply regret being such a fucking asshole now, but I can’t take it back and I can’t risk him leaving me. I… wouldn’t be able to survive without him.”

Despite deciding not to tell Peter, Tony took Mrs. Mandler’s advice about the event. Back home, he looked through all the invitations he had been flooded with recently – and hit paydirt.

Smiling widely, he approached Peter, who was lying on the sofa with a chemistry book.

“You’re still a big Star Wars fan, aren’t you?”

“Um… yeah, sure. Why?”

“Because I got an invitation for the New York world premiere of Episode, um, eight or nine or whatever, and thought… you might want to attend with me.”

Peter had never sat up faster. “Wait, what? T-The official premiere?”

“I think there’s one in Los Angeles a few days earlier, but yeah. It’s an official premiere and some of the actors will be there.”

“B-But…I mean, I wouldn’t get to- to talk to them or anything…r-right?”

“I’d say there’s a high possibility, especially if we attend the Aftershow party as well. I think Mark Hamill will be there, even.”

“Shut up! I- Oh my god, Tony, that’s- Would we go there as a… couple?”

“Yes. Unless you don’t feel comfortable about it.”

“N-No, it’s totally fine, I- _oh my god!_ Can I tell Ned? He’s going to _freak out!”_

“Sure,” Tony smiled, placing a tender kiss on Peter’s temple. “Anything you want, baby boy.”

The premiere went amazingly well. To Peter’s greatest surprise, they even got to walk the red carpet as well as some other invited VIPs. Although Tony hated posing for the paparazzi, he decided to try it for once. He put his arm around Peter’s waist for the pictures, and as he saw his boyfriend’s happy and somewhat shy smile, Tony made an effort and kissed him. At first, the teen froze, apparently both shocked and surprised, but then he leaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Tony’s head.

The paparazzi completely lost their minds and yelled and cheered, but neither of the two gave a shit. Tony didn’t even regret it next day when the papers and websites were plastered with pictures of their kiss, although Peter joked that he felt a little bad about there being more reports about them kissing than about the movie.

The reactions to their first, official presence as a couple were mostly positive; the ‘Starker’ fanbase (sometimes Tony couldn’t believe that was actually a thing) grew immensely and it was heart-warming to see them defending Peter and Tony against almost every hateful comment on Social Media.

All of this as well as his ongoing therapy made Tony so unbelievably happy that he felt confident enough to make big plans for the first Christmas Eve they would officially celebrate as a couple.

Although it was soon, Tony knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Peter. He had given up everything for the boy because Peter made him feel complete. He made him a better man. And unbelievably happy.

Since Tony didn’t want to risk getting spotted buying an engagement ring, he invited the owner of the most expensive jewelry store in Manhattan to visit him in the penthouse. The plan was to ask Peter in private on Christmas’ Eve, and, after celebrating with May and the Avengers, taking him on a two-week long engagement vacation to the Bahamas.

Although Tony wasn’t completely convinced that Peter would say yes because he was still so young, he wanted to risk it. He would tell him that getting engaged didn’t mean they would have to get married right away, and that it was mostly a sign to show how serious he was, as well as a sort of apology for his past behavior. If Peter turned out to be too overwhelmed, they could still see it as a promise ring.

* * *

Peter had never been more nervous about Christmas than this year. He had no idea what he could possibly give Tony that he didn’t already have or couldn’t buy on his own. However, May calmed him down and suggested focusing more on _them_ and the love they shared instead of a present Tony might not even need. “Just cook him something nice, bake a cake, light some candles and tell him how much you love him. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it very much.”

Liking the idea _a lot_ , Peter bought a glass jar and started writing down reasons and small details about what he loved about his boyfriend whenever he found time to do it.

A week before Christmas Eve, Tony and Peter were invited to Wanda’s birthday party. Peter immediately felt Tony tense when they spotted Pepper at the table, apparently as surprised as him to see her here. It made sense though; from what Peter knew, she had been friends with Nat and Wanda for a while, despite her never actually living here.

“Nice to see you,” the woman said when they sat down, but her smile seemed a little forced. Peter hadn’t seen her for a while and couldn’t help being worried about how worn out she looked with her unusual pale complexion and the dark circles under her eyes.

Although Tony greeted her casually, Peter could sense he felt rather awkward and anxious. The boy understood that it wasn’t easy for them to see each other now that Tony was officially dating Peter, and yet, he thought they were overreacting. After all, they break-up had been almost two years ago.

While eating cake, the Avengers chatted about Christmas preparations, the Star Wars premiere Tony and Peter had attended and about Bruce’s newest invention. The scientist asked if Tony and Peter wanted to take a look at it in the lab later on, and when Wanda said she didn’t mind, they agreed.

At the elevator, Peter realized that he had to go to the toilet and excused himself. “You can go ahead; I’ll join you in a sec.”

“You do know there’s a toilet downstairs as well, don’t you?” Tony teased, winking.

“Yeah but those upstairs are… um, nicer.” In truth, he kind of enjoyed flipping through Nat’s gossip magazines she kept in the guest bathroom (hence articles about him and Tony).

Shaking his head in amusement, Tony stepped into the elevator with Bruce, and Peter hurried to the bathroom, blushing. When he came out again five minutes later, he ran into Pepper, who was putting on her coat and seemed to wait for the elevator as well. “Are you going already?”

“Um, yeah, I… have some work to do in the firm.”

“On Sunday?”

“Yeah. I don’t mind working on weekends. Besides, it’s not like anyone’s going to wait for me at home.”

Peter didn’t know how to respond to that, so he didn’t. Together, they stepped into the elevator, and when the doors closed, Peter suddenly felt the urge to apologize. “Hey, um… I just wanted to say sorry for… I mean, I guess this is a little awkward, and, um-“

“It’s fine, Peter,” Pepper said, not looking at him. “There’s no need to apologize. I’m happy for you, I really am, but… with Christmas coming…” Without warning, she broke into tears. “Oh god, I’m sorry, y-you’re the last person I want to vent to.”

Suddenly, Peter feel horribly uneasy. “So… this is still about Tony?”

“Of course, it is,” Pepper sobbed, looking a little offended. “Just because he’s moved on so fast doesn’t mean I have to as well. I mean, I get it… he has you and… probably doesn’t get haunted by nightmares about aborting our child.”

The elevator arrived at the lab, but Peter didn’t move. Confused, Pepper looked at him, sniveling. “Aren’t you getting out?” But Peter showed no reaction. Only after the elevator had close the doors and started moving again, he found his voice again. “B-But… it wasn’t Tony’s child.”

“What? Of course, it was.”

 _No. It couldn’t…_ “But y-you guys had- had been b-broken up f-for years.”

The elevator arrived in the garage, and now it was Pepper who didn’t make any move to step out. Instead, she looked at Peter in shock. “What? W-Who told you that?”

In denial, Peter shook his head vigorously. “Y-You were broken up, you- he said- he said that it was someone else’s.”

“Are you talking about _Tony?_ ” When Peter stayed silent, Pepper let out a choked sob. “O-Oh my god, so I was right… he had been cheating on me.”

Peter felt as if the walls were closing in on him. “N-No, it can’t be. It c-can’t, h-he said- he said you guys were over.” Without thinking, the boy stumbled out of the elevator, completely confused and disoriented. Why were there cars everywhere? Was he in the garage? He flinched when he felt something touch his shoulder, and when he swirled around in alarm, he was looking into Pepper’s tear-stained face.

“You’ve been dating him since before your eighteenth birthday, haven’t you?”

And then, Peter couldn’t hold himself together anymore. With a heart-wrenching sob, he flung himself into Pepper’s arms, clinging to her desperately. “I- I’m so s-sorry, I- I didn’t… o-oh my g-g-god, I- I’m-“

“Sssh, it’s all right,” Pepper soothed, voice shaking. “You… you didn’t know, apparently, and… I’m sorry too.”

For a while, they cried silently, holding onto each other. Peter felt more nauseated than ever and with great difficulty, he tried to fight down the desperate urge to throw up. _He needed to get away from here._

“Can you- Can you take me b-back to the city? I don’t have enough money with me to catch a cab and I- I need to be home before…. before… _him_.”

“O-Of course… do you want to go back upstairs to say goodbye and get your jacket?”

“No, just…l-let’s go, please.”

On the highway, Pepper carefully asked Peter what Tony had told him, and although talking about it was the last thing Peter wanted to do, he knew he owed her that much. “He said… that you broke up, um, two years ago, and only acted as if you were still together because of Stark Industries and… that it was mutual. He… made it sound believable. Gosh, I’m so stupid.”

“Don’t say that, Peter. He fooled us both.”

“I just… I barely saw you guys together and apart from the Christmas Gala, you never even kissed.”

Pepper snorted angrily. “You want to know why that was? Because he told me that you had a crush on him and asked me to act distant so it wouldn’t hurt you. And before that, he had claimed you wanted him to get together with May.”

“What? A-Are you serious? W-When was that?”

Pepper sighed. “Your seventeenth birthday party.”

 _Oh god_. Peter’s first instinct was to tell Pepper that Tony hadn’t lied; that Peter hadn’t already been dating him on his seventeenth birthday. But he couldn’t bring himself to it. He was so fucking tired of everything. When Peter didn’t respond, Pepper took a few deep, calm breaths. “Fuck. You know this could get him in jail, right?”

“I don’t… want him to go to jail. After all, I wanted it as well.” _At least most of the times._ “I know it doesn’t matter what I wanted because I was legally unable to consent, but… no. I won’t try to get him to jail just because he betrayed me.”

“That’s very… mature of you, Peter and I won’t say anything either because it’s not my business, but if you need a lawyer or my testimony or whatever, let me know.”

“Thank you, but I just… never want to see him again. Ever.”

Pepper nodded understandingly. She insisted on driving Peter home and asked if he needed anything else. “No, I- I’m fine, thank you so much.” Though before he got out, he needed to know one more thing. “You lived in the compound with him, didn’t you?”

“Um, yeah, of course. I moved in last year in September, but even before that, I spent almost more time at the compound than in Manhattan. W-Why? Have you ever… spent the night?”

“Yes. And before you ask, no, I never saw any things from you. Guess he stowed them away… Once I turned seventeen, however, he suddenly didn’t want me to come upstairs again. At least now I know why. I’m so sorry.”

With that, Peter got out of the car and walked past the security guards. In the elevator, he took out his phone, seeing that he had three missed calls and two texts from Tony.

_“[15:53] Have you fallen into the toilet?_ _😂_ _We’re waiting.”_

_“[16:30] Seriously, are you okay?? Where are you? Call me back, please!”_

Sobbing, Peter put the phone back into his pocket and stumbled out of the elevator. His hands were shaking so much it took him a while to unlock the door.

As soon as he was inside the apartment, he fell to the floor and cried harder than he ever had if he ruled out the days after Ben’s or his parents’ deaths. How could Tony lie to him so gruesomely? And why the fuck had Peter been so unbelievably stupid? Over and over again, his gut feeling had screamed at him that Tony was dishonest about Pepper, but he had been too blind and too trusting to see the truth.

He looked up when Lou and Marie rubbed their heads against his leg, mewling confusedly. It made him cry even harder because he realized that he wouldn’t be able to take them with him. May was allergic and MJ was living in a tiny shared apartment in an even tinier room. “I- I’ll get you soon, I p-promise, okay?”

His heart was breaking when he picked them up and buried his face in their soft fur. He didn’t want to go, he didn’t want to give everything up, but he knew he had to. Peter had given Tony so many chances to come clean, and he never did.

As fast as he could, Peter packed as many of his clothes, college books and other private things he could into two suitcases and a backpack. He tried to call May, but she didn’t pick up, so he sent her a quick message and announced that he’d come over in a few.

Just when he walked back into the corridor, he heard noises coming from the entrance door, and seconds later, it opened, revealing Tony’s worried face. _Shit._

“Pete, oh my god, FRIDAY said-“ Tony froze when eyes fell on the suitcases in Peter’s hands. “W-What are you doing with these?”

Only now, the boy realized he was crying. “P-Pepper… she told me everything. I- I’m leaving.”

Tony had never looked more horrified than he did right now. “Oh my- Okay, Peter – baby - please, listen to me, I-“

“No. I won’t listen. I d-don’t want to hear your excuses as to why you ‘couldn’t’ tell me. I don’t-“

“I’m sorry,” Tony croaked, eyes swimming in tears, “I know I’m an asshole, I know I should have told you, but I was afraid to lose you. Peter, please, I love you so much, I- please don’t go, _please!_ ”

When Tony broke into heart-wrenching sobs, Peter did as well. And yet, he knew he couldn’t get weak. “I… I a-asked you… s-so many times…“

“I know, gosh, I fucking know and I wish I told you the truth, but I-“

“It’s not just the fact that you l-lied, Tony. You _cheated_ on me. From the beginning on. And you cheated on Pepper as well… s-she aborted _your child_ , for Christ’s sake.”

“I know, I’m sorry, please-“

“Stop saying ‘I know’,” Peter yelled, tears of hurt and anger spilling from his eyes. “Y-You don’t know anything, and you have obviously never cared about anyone other than yourself.”

“Y-You’re right,” Tony choked out, trying to block Peter’s way when he marched towards the door. “I didn’t, but I do now. N-Now I don’t care about anyone other than…than you. Y-You’re my life, Peter, please, y-you can’t go and throw it all away!”

“How d-dare you say that _I’m_ the one throwing it all away when you have done nothing but lie to me from the first time we kissed? It was y-you who ruined this, n-not me.”

“I kn- I understand that you’re upset and hate me right now, but please, give me another chance! I will tell you the whole truth, I _promise you!_ L-Let’s make an appointment at Mrs. Mandler’s, we can both talk to her, and-“

“No. I- I can’t trust you anymore, and I never will be able to ever again. T-This is over, Tony. Please l-let me go.”

At first, it seemed as if Tony didn’t want to move and let him through, but eventually, he stepped aside, sobbing even harder than before. “I’m so fucking sorry, Peter.”

Wordlessly, Peter wrenched the door open. He had already taken a few steps when he stopped and turned around one last time. “I will get the rest of my things and… the c-cats when I found a new place. P-Please take… t-take good care of them.”

Then, he hurried down the stairs, forcing himself to keep going despite Tony’s desperate keening tearing his heart into a million pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truth's finally out. Do you still believe in a good ending? Honestly, I have no idea how to conclude this story in only one more chapter but ay, what else is new lol.


	13. [13]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony can't cope with losing Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Major trigger warning** for this chapter if you have ever suffered from depression or have (ever had) suicidal thoughts. Please stay safe.  
> You can get fast and anonymous help by [calling the Suicide Prevention Lifeline](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org) (US) or by calling any of [these suicide crisis lines](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines).

May almost lost it when Peter appeared on her doorstep, telling her in tears about Tony cheating on him and lying about getting Pepper pregnant. The boy couldn’t bring himself to tell her everything because he knew she’d probably call the cops on Tony if she heard about the Statutory Rape, but he did admit that they had started dating a few months prior to his eighteenth birthday.

May wasn’t pleased that Peter had lied to her, but in light of his pain and suffering, she swallowed her disappointment and concentrated on her anger towards Tony. “I’m going to rip his head off…” she growled, looking more threatening than ever.

“Don’t bother, please,” Peter said, feeling horribly tired. “It’s not worth it. Can I stay here until I’ll find a new place?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Is there anything else I can do for you? Should I… get you some more of your stuff?”

“No. It’s fine, I, um, have everything I need to handle a couple of days and my last lecture is on Wednesday anyway, so… it’s all right.”

Back in his old bedroom, his phones vibrated again, signaling another message. Tony hadn’t tried to call, but he’d sent around thirty texts since Peter had left the apartment, sending multiple variations of _‘I’m sorry’_ , _‘Please come back’_ and _‘Give me another chance’_. Although he knew it was a mistake, the boy couldn’t help looking at it, only to break into fresh tears once more: _‘I don’t want to be without you!’_

Feeling as if he had no other way, Peter blocked Tony’s number and went to bed.

He would never know how he got through the next couple of days, but somehow, he managed to attend all his lectures without suffering a breakdown.

On Thursday, Peter reunited with MJ and Ned, who was back from MIT for the Christmas Holidays. They were both shocked when Peter told them about what happened and immediately offered their support. The Avengers eventually found out about their break-up as well because Tony texted Rhodey to cancel for the Christmas dinner. It was Nat who called Peter and asked him what was going on. “Okay, what did we do now? Why aren’t you guys coming? Tony is ghosting us, so-”

“W-We, um… we broke up.”

“Wait, what? … Why?”

Peter wanted to tell her, he really did, but it would feel wrong. The Avengers were first and foremost Tony’s friends. “I don’t really want to talk about it. S-Sorry.”

Only now did Peter understand the whole impact of their breakup. He didn’t want to see Tony ever again, which meant he couldn’t be an Avenger anymore, even if Tony didn’t kick him off the team. Nat said he could still come over for dinner regardless, but Peter didn’t want to. He had no intention to celebrate this year, not even a bit.

On Christmas Morning, some papers started wild speculations about Tony and Peter having “problems” because Tony was spotted at a liquor store close to the penthouse, acting completely drunk. Even though Peter tried to tell himself that Tony wasn’t his problem anymore and that he shouldn’t care considering how bad he had treated him, he couldn’t stop crying when he saw the photos attached to the article. He had never seen Tony this jaded and _broken_ before.

And yet, it was Tony’s own fault, not Peter’s. He was not responsible for Tony’s misery. Besides, it’s not like Peter wasn’t hurting either; in fact, it’s impossibly hard to find enough motivation to get up every morning.

* * *

“How are you feeling today, Mr. Stark?”

Not for the first time Tony wondered what the point of continuing therapy was. Everything was pointless, now that Peter was gone. And yet, he had once again dragged himself out of bed for another hour of listening to himself whining. “He didn’t reply to my Christmas text.”

“Did you expect him to?”

“No. But it still hurts. I was hoping he would unblock me for Christmas, at least… I just can’t stop thinking that we might have gotten engaged today,” Tony groaned, rubbing his temples with his fingertips. His head felt like it was about to burst.

“Have you been drinking again?”

“No.”

Mrs. Mandler sighed. “Mr. Stark… If you don’t trust me enough to tell me the truth, I won’t be able to help you.“

“Fine. I might’ve had a few drinks. I can’t stand being sober anymore. I- I just want to forget and… stop existing. What’s the purpose of life if you lost everything?”

“There’s always a meaning in life. Besides, you still have your firm and the Avengers. Your friends need you, Mr. Stark. The world needs you.”

Tony snorted. “I told them. Yesterday. Rhodey, Steve and Bruce… They were standing on my doorstep, refusing to leave without me. You can’t even imagine how fast they were gone after told them that I had been cheating on both Peter and Pepper for almost… two years.”

To his greatest relief, Mrs. Mandler didn’t look as if she judged him, even though he’d just confirmed that he had always lied to her about dating Peter when he had still been underage. “How did they react?”

“Well, Steve has suspected it all along, but… it’s something else to hear me say it, I guess. They said they couldn’t believe I would do something like this and… that they didn’t want me to come over after all. I don’t think they’ll report me, but… I honestly don’t even care anymore.”

“You would go to jail, though.”

Tony chuckled, a tear running down his cheek. “Whatever.”

In truth, he knew he’d never go to jail… he’d rather kill himself before that happened, but he couldn’t tell her that or she would be forced to break client confidentiality and call the mental health crisis team or something. And those headlines were the last thing he needed right now.

After flying back to the penthouse, Tony immediately poured himself another glass of whiskey before lying down on the couch, wallowing in self-pity. Lou and Marie hopped onto his lap to give him comfort, purring soothingly. God bless them. They didn’t know Tony was a shitty person… they would love him no matter what. For now, at least. Peter had said he wanted to get them, and as much as Tony dreaded the moment when the boy came to collect the last of his things, he also looked forward to it.

Because he would see him again. And maybe, just maybe, Peter would allow him to apologize and… give them another chance. If not, however, he would get all his stuff as well as the cats and be gone for real. Erased from the penthouse as if he’d never lived here. Erased from Tony’s life.

Mrs. Mandler had said it would be harder for Tony to move on if he’s constantly reminded of Peter wherever he looked and had suggested selling the penthouse.

Problem was, Tony didn’t want to move on. Everyone he had ever liked him hated him now… and it was Tony’s own fucking fault. He just wanted Peter back and live with him ever after.

But he had screwed it up. Like everything else in his life that he had ever valued or loved.

* * *

Three days after Christmas, Tony made the news once again. He had been arrested for drunk driving, but was released in no time thanks to his lawyers posting the bail.

“If you’re that worried, then why don’t you just… call him and ask him if he’s okay?” Ned grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl MJ was holding in her lap. They were over for a Harry Potter marathon, though nobody was paying any attention to the movie.

“You can’t be fucking serious,” MJ snapped, glaring at Ned. “For all we know, Tony is just trying to get Peter’s attention and coax him into crawling back to him.”

“Can you please stop bickering?” Peter groaned when Ned opened his mouth to argue. “I don’t think he’d do that. This is not the first time he’s been arrested for drunk driving. Before the Avengers, he had quite a severe alcohol problem.”

“You said it yourself, though. This is _his_ problem, not yours. You don’t owe him anything. Also, he has friends who can help him.”

Peter shuttered, thinking back to another phone call with Nat. Finding out that Tony had told them the truth had taken Peter by complete surprise. And he hadn’t only told them about the cheating, but about them dating long before Peter had turned seventeen as well. The boy didn’t know whether he felt glad about it or not.

It was embarrassing, kind of, but it was great that Tony hadn’t lied again. For once, he hadn’t tried to act all innocent or sugarcoat anything, even though he had to know he’d risk losing them as well.

Peter had told Nat that he didn’t want them to be mad at Tony and that it was something between the two of them. However, she said they couldn’t just brush it aside and needed some time to get over it. As of yet, it was unclear what that meant for the Avengers.

“Well, they aren’t on good terms with him right now. In fact, he, um, told them and they chose to be on my side.”

“Why would they not be on your side?” Michelle fumed. “You did _nothing_ wrong. And don’t you dare feeling bad about it… Tony brought this on himself.”

If only it was that easy; Peter still had May and his two friends, and with the Avengers, Pepper and even _Happy_ offering Peter their support, Tony had nobody left. There was nobody who could watch out for him anymore…

“I’ll just go to Greenwich tomorrow afternoon. I need to get a few more things from the penthouse and… I want to visit Lou and Marie and see if he’s taking proper care of them.” When Ned and MJ exchanged a knowing glance, Peter emphasized that Tony most likely wouldn’t even be home. “He was spotted coming out of the building his therapist works at, so I guess he’s still seeing her Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’ll be gone before he even gets back.”

Knowing that Tony still went to therapy was a little comforting at least. Mrs. Mandler had worked wonders with him, so Peter had high hopes she’d eventually be able to help him out of whatever state he’s in.

Maybe that was the main reason why Peter was so shocked when he arrived at the penthouse one day later, completely appalled by the mess he discovered.

Just like Peter had imagined, Tony wasn’t home. The cats purred happily when the boy stepped into the apartment, licking his hands as soon as he crouched down to pet and cuddle them. “I missed you so much,” he whispered, already close to breaking into tears.

Relieved that they looked well-fed and as healthy as ever, Peter went into the kitchen-living area, only to freeze in horror. Dozens of empty food delivery boxes were lying around everywhere, and many dirty plates and glasses were piled up in the sink and on the kitchen isle. It reeked, but it didn’t come from the cat litter boxes, which were surprisingly clean, but from the food boxes and the vast number of empty bottles of wine and whiskey standing everywhere.

What happened to the cleaning firm?

Shuttering, Peter quickly went into the bedroom to get some more of his clothes. Even in here he found two pizza boxes and a whiskey bottle on what had once been Peter’s nightstand, as well as two drug dispensers the boy had never seen before.

_Stop feeling sorry for Tony. It’s his own fault._

In the closet, Peter eventually found the glass jar he had bought for Christmas. Sobbing, he pulled out the paper snippets he had already finished, reading through them against his better judgment. As much as Peter wanted to deny it, all of these things he had written down were true. He had loved Tony for all of those reasons. Maybe they hadn’t _always_ been true, but with time, Tony had changed into a better person.

Any yet, honesty, faithfulness and trust were crucial for a relationship. Peter didn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive Tony for what he had done.

Not wanting his ex-boyfriend to find the jar, Peter crammed it into the suitcase. He realized he had wasted way too much time when he heard noises at the front door, signaling that Tony was coming home. _Fuck._ Just when the boy hurried out of the bedroom, Tony stepped into the corridor, Iron Man suit retracting. He looked _horrible._ His eyes were saggy, his skin red and pale at the same time. It took him a few moments to spot Peter in the living room, and after wincing horribly, his expression changed from shock to relief.

“P-Peter!” In seconds, Tony was right in front of him, pulling Peter into an embrace. “Oh my god, I- I’ve missed you so much!”

Completely overwhelmed, Peter froze, unable to react. Seeing Tony affected him more than he’d thought, both positively and negatively. Eventually, he plucked up his courage and wriggled out of Tony’s grip. “Stop, I- I’m not here for you. I just wanted to get a few things.”

At that, Tony looked so heartbroken and disappointed that Peter almost started to cry again. “Oh. I see.” Crestfallen, he dragged his feet towards the kitchen, taking yet another bottle of whiskey out of a cupboard.

Peter knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it. “You can’t live like this, Tony. You’re… you’re going to kill yourself.”

“As if you cared,” Tony half-snorted, half-sniveled.

“Of course, I care.”

“Then why can’t you give me another chance?” Tony swirled around, sounding desperate. “I know I fucked up and I’m not asking you to just… forgive me, but we can try to work this out and-“

“We can’t. _I_ can’t. I… I’m sorry.”

“S-So you really… don’t love me anymore?”

Great, now Peter was crying as well. “W-What does it matter? What you did is impossible to repair.”

Looking devastated, Tony hurried over, the hand holding the half-filled glass of whiskey shaking. “But… w-what if you could look into the future and find out that I would never betray your trust or mistreat you ever again? Would you give me – and us – another chance then?”

“What is that supposed to mean? You can’t look into the future, so-“

“No, I know, but I’m trying to say… If you _had_ proof that I would never lie to you or cheat on you ever again, you would be able to trust me again… right?”

“I… guess, but that’s exactly what _trust_ is about…believing in someone to do the right thing and be honest to you without _knowing_ and without having any _proof._ And you don’t have _proof_ , and I don’t have trust. I- I’m sorry.”

Peter picked up his suitcase and marched towards the door, stopping once more to give the cats one last kiss. “I’ll take you home as soon as I can. Promise.”

* * *

Numbly, Tony watched Peter kissing the cats goodbye, but as he said that he would take them _home_ with him as soon as he could, the man snapped out of it. “But… this is their home, just like… it is yours.”

“Tony, please… We are _over_ , going our separate ways and… living our separate lives, from now on.“

“N-No, you don’t understand. I can move out so you can stay here with them. This apartment was always supposed to be yours, I- I want you to have it. Please. It’s the least I can do.“

“That’s really, um, nice, but I couldn’t accept it when we were still t-together, and I most certainly can’t accept it now. By the way, I’m going to leave the Spyder in the garage, I don’t want it anymore.”

“You can’t tell me you’d rather live in some dirty apartment in a shitty neighborhood than here.”

Peter tiredly shook his head. “Believe it or not, but I do. This has… too many memories. I just want to forget about it… a-about everything.” Crying, the boy marched out the door, leaving Tony alone with Lou and Marie. They meowed miserably, almost as if they knew what was going on.

For a while, Tony couldn’t find it in him to move. The shock of seeing Peter, the knowledge that he didn’t seem to love him anymore, as well as hearing him say how he wanted to forget everything was more than he could take. In seconds, he gulped down his whiskey, only to pour himself another right after.

He couldn’t even blame Peter. Tony had mistreated him for almost two years. Lied, cheated… _raped._

A fiery rage directed at himself took a hold of Tony and before he knew it, he threw the bottle of whiskey against the wall, watching in satisfaction as it shattered into a thousand pieces. The frightened cats ran off into the bedroom that Peter had left open, causing Tony to feel like the worst person in the whole goddamn world.

He couldn’t stand it anymore. It had to- it had to stop. Peter wasn’t coming back to him and neither were his friends. Mrs. Mandler was wrong. Nobody needed him anymore. Nobody _wanted_ him anymore. And with good reason. He was a _monster._

As if he had planned it all along, Tony took out his phone and opened FRIDAY’s app. His voice was oddly calm when he told her to alert emergency services in precisely three hours. Then, he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen to leave Peter a few last words, hoping he would bother enough to read it. His hand was shaking worse by the second, not just because of the alcohol, but because he started realizing what he was about to do. He couldn’t deny it: he was scared.

* * *

As soon as Peter had left the apartment, he broke down. Feeling terribly awful, he was sitting on the stairs for a few minutes, asking himself whether he had been too harsh and if leaving was the right choice. He hadn’t been completely honest with Tony… he didn’t _want_ to forget and move on, but he felt like he needed to. Because he loved him so much _hurt._

It took him a while to calm down and feel strong enough to leave. Down in the lobby, he peeked out the big glass windows of the building, cursing when he spotted all the paparazzi. Going back for the car key was out of the question, so Peter asked the concierge to call him a taxi since he didn’t want to get stalked and harassed all the way back to the subway.

While Peter was waiting, a sense of foreboding overcame him. Although he couldn’t grab what it was, all of his hair stood on end and he shivered. When the taxi arrived, Peter hesitated for a few seconds before walking out the door, ignoring the question the paparazzi yelled at him from across the street.

As the driver lined up in traffic, Peter thought back at his conversation with Tony once more. How would couple therapy be able to help them? It helped Tony, yes, but… this was different… wasn’t it? Mrs. Mandler was good, but she couldn’t turn back time either.

Could it hurt, though? Since Peter was already broken, it could hardly make things worse, right?

They had barely driven one block when Peter open the camera roll on his phone, torturing himself by looking all the pics and selfies him and Tony had taken recently. He could barely get over how happy both of them looked. Now, all that happiness was gone, because of something Tony had done before most of these pictures were taken. At a time, when he hadn’t come out yet and everything had been different. When he had still more or less abused Peter… something the boy had already forgiven him for and that most people wouldn’t understand.

Because they wouldn’t believe that Tony had changed. But Peter did. In fact, if he hadn’t been convinced that Tony would never hurt him like that ever again, he wouldn’t have moved in with him. This was… _trust_ too, wasn’t it?

Overwhelmed by memories, Peter put the phone away and gazed out of the window. The pictures haunted him, and when the boy saw a young couple on the street kissing happily, the strange, anxious feeling from the lobby returned.

And suddenly, Peter knew he had to go back. He didn’t know why, but he was overcome with the desperate urge to jump into Tony’s arms and tell him that he still loved him and that everything would be okay… that he wanted to give couple therapy a try after all. It didn’t make any sense, but before he knew it, he had told the taxi driver to turn drive around the block and drive back.

Fifteen minutes later, Peter unlocked the door to the penthouse with shaking fingers. The stench of whiskey was omnipresent and from the looks of it, Tony had smashed a bottle at one of the walls.

Just when Peter opened his mouth to call for him, his eyes fell upon a letter and a jewelry box on the dining table. In seconds, he was at the table, his heart racing as he started reading.

_“Dear Peter,_

_knowing you, you’re probably gonna blame yourself for this, but you need to understand that this isn’t in any way your fault. You aren’t the cause of my pain – I am. You never did anything wrong. You were the most perfect boyfriend I could have asked for, and I failed to appreciate and respect you the way you deserved. From the beginning on. I know it was selfish of me to ask for your forgiveness. And I know this won’t change anything, but I need to make sure that you and May will never have to worry about financial problems anymore. Until everything is settled with the assets, you can sell this ring and use the money to buy a small apartment somewhere in the city. I meant to give it to you at Christmas._

_I’m sorry. I love you._

_Tony.”_

Peter hadn’t realized he had started sobbing until he was done. The implication of this was so terrifying and heartbreaking that he retched, barely able to hold back from throwing up. When he heard a noise from the bedroom, he dashed forward without hesitation. “T-TONY?”

He yanked the door open and cried in relief when he saw Tony sitting on the bed, sobbing – holding a gun-like Iron Man gadget. “O-Oh god, please, Tony, don’t- don’t do this.”

Panic-stricken, Tony stared at Peter. “W-What are you-“ he tried to hide the gun before realizing it was pointless. “I- I didn’t- I wasn’t going to-“

“Please j-just… give me the gun, o-okay?” A as careful as possible, Peter came closer, hoping his trembling legs wouldn’t give in.

“W-Why are you here?”

“I… I ch-changed my mind. I want to- to give therapy a try… Please, give me the gun.”

“You’re just saying that now because- because you think I-“

“I’m not. I swear.” Peter was close. “Please, Tony… I’m not saying this will be easy, but… I want to try. Please, let me try. Let _us_ try.”

The man was completely still when Peter’s hands slowly wrapped around Tony’s, carefully taking the gun from him. Only when he had safely taken it away, Peter allowed himself to breathe again. Shaking all over, he let himself drop onto the mattress next to Tony, embracing him tightly. They were both crying as they clung to each other, afraid of letting go.

“I- I’m so fucking pathetic,” Tony eventually choked out. “I w-wanted to- to do this, but I was to fucking scared. I don’t know why I’m always so scared of everything.”

“This is no sign of fear,” Peter whispered, “It takes so much courage and strength to… not do it. You’re the bravest men I know, Tony. You’ve proved it more than once. B-Besides… we’re all scared sometimes.”

They kept holding each other until Tony asked, “D-Did you really mean what you said? About trying to m-make it work?”

“Yes. I can’t promise you that it _will_ work, and it sure as hell won’t be easy, but… I can promise that I’ll try as hard as I can. I… I love you, Tony.”

_(Epilogue)_

For the next three months, Peter and Tony only saw each other for therapy sessions. Apart from that, they texted and talked on the phone whenever Tony was allowed to. Whereas he had voluntarily checked into a mental health facility to get help regarding his depression and rekindled alcohol addiction, Peter had moved back into the penthouse to take care of the cats until Tony would be back. With every day that passed, Peter missed Tony a bit more, making everything else seem a little less important.

At first, the boy had planned to move out again as soon as the three months were over and take it slow, but when Tony finally got back home, Peter came to the conclusion that he didn’t need or want to be away from him any longer. Although he believed Tony that he wouldn’t have gone through with using the gun on himself, he was often haunted by the sensation he felt when he thought he had lost Tony for good. He never wanted to feel it ever again.

Even though Tony’s betrayal still hurt and even though Peter sometimes wasn’t sure if he could do it, he tried to forgive him with all this might. Tony hadn’t cheated on him because he had loved or desired Pepper more; quite the opposite. He had done it because he had hoped to keep up his façade of being a straight guy, and knowing that, somehow helped. Yes, it was hard, but slowly, Peter managed to regain his trust in the older man and eventually, managed to forgive him.

Tony’s relationship to Pepper remained tense, but she promised Peter that she wished them all the best and that she would never tell a living soul, neither about the Statutory Rape, nor about the cheating. She even offered to sign a confidentiality agreement, but Tony declined, saying he still trusted her with his life.

The Avengers and May slowly started to warm up to Tony again. They knew that Peter’s and Tony’s relationship wasn’t really their business, and after a few months of seeing how happy Peter was once more, they eventually found it in them to be happy for him – for _them_ – too.

To shut down on-going rumors about their relationship and Tony’s alcohol problem, Peter and Tony agreed to do an interview for a serious newspaper magazine in June. The man talked about his depression and the therapy he – and Peter – were still going to once a week, hoping to spread awareness and give hope and strength to everyone struggling with the same problems.

Peter was so proud of him that later in bed, he addressed what they had both avoided speaking about for the last couple of months.

“We’ve never spoken about… _this_.”

Tony blushed when Peter placed the jewelry box into his lap. “You, um, never sold it?”

“’Course not. Even if we hadn’t gotten back together, I wouldn’t have. Did you really… intend to propose to me?”

“Um… y-yeah, but… I mean, it was just- I know it would have been early and- y-you probably wouldn’t have wanted to regardless, so I– um, you know-“

“Yes.”

“- it would have- Wait, what?”

“ _Yes._ I mean, if you still… are serious about this. And if you promise we’re going to wait for at least one or two more years until… you know.”

Tony looked as if he didn’t dare to hope. “I- I’m afraid I can’t follow.”

Laughing, Peter kissed his cheek, before sliding down the mattress, keeping Tony’s hand in his as he kneeled down. “Anthony Edward Stark… Do you want to marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so many dramatic ideas for the end, but most would have been too unrealistic and cheesy. I mean, it is still cheesy as fuck, but… you don’t know what other ideas I had 😅😂  
> I honestly feel like this is the worst chapter that I have ever written in my life, but… yeah. Sorry if this was sudden and felt forced. Thing is, I could have dragged this out for ten more chapters, but I somehow wanted to move on. Don’t get me wrong, I personally greatly enjoyed writing this, but I wanted to end it before I created even more drama. I wanted these two to finally get a happy end. It’s up to you if they eventually end up getting married or not, but my canon ending for this AU is that they end up marrying and maybe, in a few years, adopting a child. 
> 
> It was important for me that even though Tony was seriously attempting to commit, he didn’t actually try it. And not because Peter was there to stop him (in fact, he would have been too late), but because he realized he couldn’t and didn’t want to go through with it.  
> I also wanted Peter to realize he still loved Tony and wanted to go back together before he thought Tony was about to commit. 
> 
> Now, if you haven’t already, feel free to check out the [Winterspider AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21999262/chapters/52497337). I’m also gonna start writing a new Starker story soon <3


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